Remember that time, where Tim, that rather questionable guy, who clung to you after meeting him at your fourth cousins sisters baby shower, and now he's discussing his recent cats birth? Yeah, and how you just wanted take a shovel casually to his face? WELL HAVE NO FEAR, this new book is here. With our easy to follow tips, even you can be loser people free!

Gertrude's my name. Gertrude Bambi Goldsmith to be exact. I'm a nerd, I won't deny it. My parents are destitute alcoholics. That's who they are and I know they won't change. I work and bring home the money in this family. I'm 17 years old and I have no idea when my birthday is. All I know is the year in which I was born. My parents don't care about me. They knew I'd either be a nerd or a slut., hence my first and middle names. Gertrude is nerdy. Bambi is slutty. During the day, I'm Gertrude . But by night, I'm Bambi. I met this guy named Brett. I met him online to be exact. He's so sweet and he actually likes me. There's one problem though. He's my English teacher. He doesn't know he's my English teacher, though. He doesn't know Gertrude...he knows Bambi. When I'm Bambi, I'm the exact opposite of nerdy. I'm sexy. When I'm Gertrude, I'm the stereotypical nerd. That's who Mr. Anderson knows. Mr. Anderson is Brett. He has no idea who I am when he sees me on the first day of school. And he doesn't know I'm his student when we talk online. All he knows is that Gertrude is just another student and that Bambi is the girl of his dreams. Will Brett ever find out that Bambi is me? And if he does, what will he do?