Dan & Phil meet in a psychiatric hospital. They find both sadness and happiness in each other. Suicidal and broken, will they learn to fix each other or will they break each other even more? *** this story includes a lot of triggering features that may be upsetting to some readers, please be careful if you read ~ if you need any help please don't be afraid to message me. (this story is named/ based off of Everything's An Illusion by Mayday Parade)

Summary: Dan draws, Phil doesn't. Phil wears black shirts, speaks loudly, and glares at everyone. Dan wears grey jumpers, doesn't talk, and tries to stay invisible. Phil's reckless, Dan's not. This is as story about two polar opposites who mange to have a string of first times together, and maybe even a cute love story. Because unexpected things always happen, when you try to keep someone at arms length. Rating/Warnings: Mature Readers (READ AT OWN RISK). This story may contain topics of depression, cutting, anxiety, panic attacks, assault, gay slurs, and minor sexual content. If any of the listed content triggers you, please do not read. Please do not copy and post my story anywhere else or create an "adaptation" of my work. Thank you. Copyright © 2013. strawb3rryvib3s All Rights Reserved.

"Phil Lester is the literal sunshine of my life. If I didn't have him in my life, I may have been dead by now. Every day still sucks, but whenever I'm with Phil, my heart remembers that life is worth living. The only reason my life is worth living is to be next to Phil. To see him smile, to hear him laugh, to listen to his voice, to watch him move...everything. Everything that he does brings the much-needed light into my life." Dan Howell has many struggles within himself, despite his successful YouTube career. The only one who truly helps him is his best mate, Phil Lester. Dan has been madly in love with Phil since the first day they met. However, Dan knows that it is inevitable that Phil will never return the feeling because he is only interested in women. As Dan attempts to battle his own demons, Phil seems to be quite happy and even ends up dating a beautiful girl. Unfortunately, this makes Dan's mental state even worse. What will happen to Dan? Will he ever confess his strong feelings for his best friend? Will he ever overcome the ongoing war in his head?

October 16, 2009 ~ 'Hello Internet' October 16, 2017 ~ 'Goodbye Internet'

Dan is stuck in his thoughts and he doesn't know if he can escape. I just want to make it clear that nothing in this story should be desired; you should never aspire to feel how Dan feels at the beginning of this story, however if you do feel this way I am sorry, it gets better I promise you just need to let it, let your mind heal. I'm always free to talk to just message me in whatever way you can. TW//suicidal thoughts, self harm, drug use, depression

Phil Lester is sweet and cute; known for his kindness and enthusiasm. Dan Howell is a tough, cold outsider; known as the school's stereotypical 'bad boy'. But if he's so bad, then why on earth did he rescue Phil Lester and give him a smile which would melt anyone's heart?

Dan Howell, a 17 year old boy. A mute. Diagnosed with severe anxiety, paranoia and depression. Anti-social. This bot meets Phi Lester, a happy, excitable boy, who loves to talk. But, Phil is new to the school. He doesn't know who are good and who are bad. Phil and Dan meet once, and maybe for the last time. But Phil makes Dan smile. And you never know, this mute boy may fall in love with Phil. W A R N I N G ! This story may contain, self-harm, abuse, talk about suicide, and some other triggering themes.

update:: this was written about two years ago, the writing is quite bad, I apologize in advance //trigger warning// //dans pov// "do you love me phil ?" "maybe i do"

"Phil... I'm depressed" "Oh my god, me too! I get so down in the dumps sometimes it's ju-" "No. Phil. I have depression" "Oh." ~ triggers: -self harm (cutting) -depression + depressing thoughts -suicidal thoughts + suicide -gay slurs + other derogatory words -abuse -alcohol addiction -rape -murder ~ #144 in Fanfiction ~ completed - 25/9/16

(COMPLETED)Dan is the quiet boy. Who never listens in class. Doesn't talk to anybody. And is either staring down at his desk or listening to music alone. This all changed though when there's a new boy in dan's class, Phil. Phil is the boy with the warming smile. The energetic boy. The one that can talk to anyone. But Phil isn't like the others for one big reason. He doesn't ignore Dan. Everybody else does. But Phil doesn't. And Phil just kept annoying Dan until one day they got paired up for a project together. Dan finally starts to class Phil as a friend until they realise they have feelings for each other. But there's something about dan that could change everything. Warning! Strong language Sexual content Trigger warning Self harm Depression