pissed my pants laughing
31 stories
Arc-en-ciel by CoffeeGirl_10
CoffeeGirl_10
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〚FEATURED〛 ⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒ "My pick-up lines are great." "Yeah, and I have a pet llama." "You do??" "No, idiot." ⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒ Arc-en-ciel (n.): Rainbow He's the perfect example of a thundercloud. He's rude, grumbly, and frightening to most- ready to harshly rain down on anyone in his way. She's a human sunbeam, at best. She's the kind of person with a sunshine personality that everyone adores- bubbly, nearly always beaming, and looking to spread smiles. Working with your polar opposite might seem like the worst thing that could happen. But around every thundercloud's rain, there comes sunshine. And with the sun and rain, come rainbows. ⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒ Featured in Wattpad Teenfiction's 'Funny Bones' Reading list [no idea how that happened lol] [#1 in Adorable | 1# in Cute | 1# in LoveAtFirstSight } [#1 in BadBoy | 1# in Boyfriend| 1# in Fiction ] [#2 in GoodGirl | #2 in Romance] ©All rights reserved, available only on Wattpad [Cover images do not belong to me, all rights reserved by owners]
Love Is Overrated  by Zangata101
Zangata101
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Reign Miller doesn't believe in love, she thinks all romcoms are cringe and so are high school relationships, even she doesn't know why. Her goal during senior year is to work her ass off so she can make it to a good college, a place where students don't always make out in the hallways or drink from the same milkshake cup. * Football is the only thing Luke Richardson enjoys, he's a rich kid with a pretty face from a rich neighborhood, and everyone thinks his life is going great but that's because he's good at keeping things inside, except for his hate towards Reign, the girl with a smart mouth and only popular for hanging out with popular kids. Himself included.
Trust Me by TellaAlvarez
TellaAlvarez
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(Complete) When bright and happy Blair meets a bad boy who seems to live in a completely different world than she does, she can't help but to be drawn in. But maybe there's more to him than meets the eye, and they both have secrets that need to be revealed. This book is apart of the See Me series, but can be read as a stand-alone.
His Greatest Redemption [REUPLOADED] by lote003
lote003
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"My girl isn't fucking weak and there isn't shit wrong with her. She's a fucking force and her pain is her power." He paused, allowing his words to seep into my soul. "And her place will always be at my side, say it." He demanded. A few tears tracked down my face. My throat was clogged with emotions, and it felt hard to breathe, but I did what I was told. "I'm not weak and there's nothing wrong with me. I'm a force...." I swallowed. "My pain is my power, and my place will always be at your side." "Louder. I want to hear you." My chin trembled but the words that left my mouth next were strong and hard. "I'm not weak. My pain is my power, and my place will always be at your side." "Again." His voice was a whisper against my skin, causing the tips of my fingers to tingle. "Say it again, Sam." My heart thawed. "I'm not weak." I said quietly. "There's nothing wrong with me. I'm a force. My pain is my power, and my place will always be at your side." "Damn straight." He whispered against my lips. "You're fucking perfect. Don't let me hear you call yourself weak, Sam. Because you aren't." ° ° ° 𝗦𝗮𝗺 My life was mapped out for me before I could even take my first breath. I was thrusted into the corrupted world of organized crime and illegal trade. After being broken and left for dead, I finally got my out. I ran. I was free. And then my brother fucked it all up, dragging me back into this twisted form of hell. And then there was Spade, the devil in the most irresistible form. 𝗦𝗽𝗮𝗱𝗲 I was the King of the Cosa Nostra. The definition of violent and tainted. I was merciless, and in my book, there was no such thing as fucking losing. Things have always been the same in the underground, nd when you play with your life, things were collected. Her brother is in my debt, and if that debt isn't paid someone will die. This was just business, so why couldn't I kill her and get shit over with? She was just a means to an end. Right?
𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 |𝟏𝟖+ by bazookah
bazookah
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𝐈𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. . . . . . . . . . . We've all heard the tales of good and bad, the tales of innocent deceit and her hero, the tales that despite their nature, show us the beauty in contrast. But it's the tales of pure evil that get swept under the rug. The tales of deception, where cruelty is rewarded. The tales that have you questioning who the real villain of the story is. There's a simple philosophy to most thing in life; two wrongs 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 make a right. So what ensues when you put two of the worst kinds of people together? Loyalties transfer, lines blur, and hatred ignites complete chaos. She's cunning. 𝘏𝘦'𝘴 𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴. She's dangerous. 𝘏𝘦'𝘴 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴. She's evil. 𝘏𝘦'𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘦. Or so that's what we're told. The devil is always worse. But maybe, just maybe, she's the devil in disguise, playing his advocate... . . . . . . . . . . - 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 - 𝐄𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 - 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞. - 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧. - 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞.
Into The Devil ✓  by Elizabethjaybooks
Elizabethjaybooks
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It felt like heaven to fall in love with hell...
His Greatest Sanctity by lote003
lote003
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"Breathe." He dipped his head down so that his lips were right at my ear, his strong arm wrapped securely around my waist, molding my body into his. "If you're going to fall apart,." He starts, teeth gritted. "Now's the time. I'll be here to put you back together when it's over." I squeezed my eyes shut again, and I did just that. I fell apart. ******* Secrets. Lies. Deception. Murder. I'd seen and done it all. And not willingly. So I left. I sacrificed my freedom to save myself, and the only way to ensure my own safety was to start over. Clean slate. New people. New me. But the last thing I expected when I arrived at Manonwell Prep Academy was to be bombarded by a boy-no, a man who held some unknown vendetta against me. Call it obsession, infatuation, hatred. To me it was all one in the same. He was everywhere I turned, like a shadow. Watching me. Taunting me. Haunting me. And it was all because of something I did to him a long time ago. It was something so bad that he couldn't stand me, that he wanted me dead, and the idea of making my life a living hell was something that he took pride in. But I didn't remember. I had no clue what I could've done to him in the past, but he was hellbent on pushing me until I did. My plans on starting over were shattered the minute I stepped inside that school. He was the type of person that demanded your attention without having to speak. He was untamed and wild and unhinged. But what he didn't know was that the Winter Travers that he knew in past, the one I didn't remember, was no longer alive. I was different. She was gone and I was here. And he was everything I should've been afraid of. Sinister, quiet, manipulative, but I knew it would be a cold day in hell before I let him win. Ronan was like gasoline waiting to be doused on the fire that inside me, and if he was ready to burn, then so was I.
Sweet Spot by TheFeveredBookaholic
TheFeveredBookaholic
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Sierra Lancaster has had an agonizingly mediocre life. She grew up in a happy home, made loyal friends, graduated college, and is now pursuing her dream of running her own bakery. Boring, right? A story like this wouldn't be one for the books. At least not until you bring a hot neighbour into the mix. A tall, brooding, shredded (like, wash your clothes on those abs shredded), and wildly successful sports agent. Interested yet? It gets better. Said neighbour isn't just a rando, but Sierra's childhood nemesis that made her formerly chubby days a living hell. Now we're talking, aren't we? Holden Rey has always been the golden boy. Holden...golden...you following? You'd think the bitchy universe would do its job and throw some karma his way but to no avail. Not only has he got it all, but he knows it too. He also still has it out for Sierra and resumes being a jack-ass of epic proportions (and his ass ain't his only epic proportion) as soon as he realizes who the new girl next door is. It's the same old story with these two except this time, there's unwilling attraction and sexual tension underneath all the hate. Is it just lust or does the bitchy universe actually have a plan? So maybe this story is one for the books after all. *A hilarious, enemies-to-lovers, romantic standalone. Rated 18+ due to mature content. All rights reserved to TheFeveredBookaholic.*
Soft Spot by TheFeveredBookaholic
TheFeveredBookaholic
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From the writer of Sweet Spot, comes the sequel of two familiar characters you already saw coming. Harper Davis has many titles: marketing connoisseur, almost-lawyer, disappointment to parents, and most importantly: liar. Big. Fat. Liar. But what else is a girl supposed to do when her overachieving parents ask her if she's in a relationship? It's bad enough they think she's incompetent, but single at the age of 31? Is there a cliff to jump off around here? And thanks to her big, fat, lying skills, Mr. and Mrs. Davis are flying into town to meet Harper's alleged boyfriend. The non-existent one. The "I'm about to be caught in the act" one. The "it was nice knowing you guys" one. Enter Sawyer James. He also has many titles: douchebag, womanizer, know-it-all, and just about any colourful insult in the book. The one title Harper didn't expect him to have? Boyfriend. Fake boyfriend. After years of working in vicinity and being known for their competitive nature, Harper never thought she would agree to fake-date the office hunk. But she's short on time and options and she can (frustratingly) admit that no one could play this part better than her work enemy. The "he probably sucks in bed" enemy. The "okay fine that's a lie" enemy. They say never to mix business and pleasure, but it doesn't count if it's pretend...right? *A hilarious reverse grumpy x sunshine, office romance, and fake dating rom-com. Rated 18+ due to mature scenes. All rights reserved to TheFeveredBookaholic.*
Tame Me If You Can by TheBluntWeirdo
TheBluntWeirdo
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After kissing an irresistible stranger, a young professor discovers her mystery crush is one of her new students. MIA is an emotionally unavailable woman, who's dedicated everything to becoming the youngest professor at her university. Growing up with a narcissistic mother taught her to hide behind sarcasm and sass, while pushing away any pursuits of intimacy. JAKE is an irresistible sweetheart, who gets infatuated by a sharp-tongued woman and can't let her go, especially when he can read her like an open book and knows deep down, she's just afraid. When the two find themselves in a taboo academic setting, flames rise, chemistry explodes, and banter is never-ending. But will Jake be able to tame her heart without ruining them both in the process? DISCLAIMER: This is my first book, y'all. Don't be mean. Also, the smut fades to black. Ya horny animals. If you want full smut, read my other books. "I love this. Mia is exactly like me, we go through the same thoughts and same doubts and same anxieties. Thank you so much for writing this, to me it's more than a simple romance. I felt so incredibly seen while reading this." - reptaholic17 "Battling her demons is hard, but thankfully Jake is perfect for her. God, I'm so in love with Jake. This story is just amazing." - EuphoricLadyB "This was the first Wattpad where I actually cried. This was such an amazing story and I loved it so much! I am so attached to the characters and I laughed cried and swooned for them." -eatcatfood "This book was so beautiful omg. The characters were so relatable but not only that, the humor was top tier." - danyelle45_ "The lead characters stole my heart. What a chemistry ...it was not a typical professor loves student Romcom..." - KomalJain383 "I absolutely am in love with this book. From the sarcasm to the embarrassment. I absolutely love it. It held the right amount of everything that you see in the real world, which made it so much more realistic." - theykravedeiia