No One Loves Us So Let's Be Gay Buddies [Earthbound, Mother]

Lucas is a homosexual male. Lucas loves Ness. Ness is a heterosexual steak. Ness does not love Lucas. Tony is a homosexual unicorn that poops rainbows. Tony is obsessed with Jeff. Jeff likes bottle rockets. Not Tony. At all. So, Lucas and Tony become friends. Or, gay buddies to be exact.