"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." "Oh, shiitake mushrooms." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Short Story #1 (19/04/18) 2016 Fiction Awards Finalist © 2015 evethespy. All Rights Reserved.

[sequel to teen helpline] ❝Hello, this is the Breakup Helpline, designed and manufactured to cater to your brokenhearted needs. How may I help you?❞ ❝My girlfriend...just cheated on me. With my best friend.❞ ❝Um..uh, hold on...oh, fuck! There's nothing on how to respond to that in these answer sheets!❞ ___________________________________________________________________ When happy-go-lucky Theo Hastings discovers his best friend has been fucking his girlfriend behind his back for the last six months, Theo's whole life has been careening on the rocks- until his cousin, Damien Carson, forces him to look for help on a helpline- a particular helpline call the 'Breakup Helpline' and there he meets sarcastic, cynical realist Serena Adams, who doesn't believe in love at all. And maybe, just maybe, Theo can change her mind. this is a tale about the hopeless romantic and the skeptical non-believer, the idealistic sentimentalist and the bitter soul, and how fate brings them together.

❝Hello, this is the Starb-❞ ❝HEEELP ME!! PLEASE! THERE'S A MURDERER IN MY HOUSE!❞ ❝OH SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!! WHAT DO I DO?! THIS IS STARBUCKS, NOT FREAKING 911. WAIT, HOLD ON. TRY TO KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE, I'LL CALL 911!! STAY CALM. IT'S GOING TO BE O- ❞ ❝Wait...did you just say Starbucks?❞ ❝Um...yeah?❞ ❝They have a hotline?❞ ---- fun conversations between two Potterheads over the Starbucks hotline. [highest rank: #6 in short story] [highest rank: #2 in short story 5/6/17]