"Hanggang ganito na lang ba? Ang tingin mo sakin pamatid ng panandaliang pangangailangan mo?" Iritableng napatingin ako sa pigurang iyon ni Corinne. Si Corinne! Fuck! Bakit ko ba kasi sya dinamay sa gulong ito. "Sinabi ko na sayo nung una pa lang di ba? Stay away from me!" Gigil na singhal ko sa kanya. "Dikit ka ng dikit! Tapos ngayon ako pa lumalabas na masama." Tila matutunaw naman ako ng unti-unting tumulo yung luha sa mga mata niya. "I love you, Aria. Pero kahit ilang beses ko namang sabihin iyon sayo wala lang di ba? Kasi until now hindi mo pa din kayang ibigay yung sarili mo ng buong-buo. Kasi hanggang ngayon nakakulong ka pa din sa kahapon mo. " "Hindi totoo yan.." Nanghihinang napaupo ako. What have I done? Bakit ba paulit ulit ko na lang syang nasasaktan? "I can't save you, Aria." Punung puno ng pait na sabi nya. "I can't save you kasi ayaw mong magpasalo. Hindi lahat sasaktan ka. Kelangan mo din magtiwala na hindi ko kayang saktan ka." Natawa lang ako ng pagak. "Tell me, Corinne. What's holding you back? Akala ko ba mahal mo ko? Bakit hindi mo magawang ibigay ng buo yung sarili mo?" Pinalis ni Corinne yung luhang umaagos sa magkabila niyang pisngi. "Because I know you. I know na pag nakuha mo na ko, Game over na. And I don't want to end everything that we have just because of that. " "Wow!" Napapalatak ako sa kanya. "Now, who have trust issues sa ating dalawa ngayon? " Ngumiti siya ng pilit. Another broken smile. How many times should I break her before she gives me up? "If I give myself to you now, Will you give me your heart?" Fuck! No! I don't know. I really don't know. She can have me. But I know that she can never have my heart.

"You're my betrothed." "Naliligaw ka, Miss." Inis na isasara ko na sana yung pinto ng humarang sya doon. "I don't think so. You're Terry Alcatraz right?" Terry has never been terrified all her life, ngayon lang. As she is now standing infront of a Goddess in the form of this woman with 5'10 height, pinkish white skin na hindi yata sanay sa araw, ash gray hair, at yung malalamlam na mga mata na akala mo laging inaantok. Am I still dreaming? "Sino ka ba?" "I'm your betrothed." Hay nako. May baliw na naman na naligaw. I pity her. Maganda nga. Baliw naman. "You got it wrong. Babae ako, Miss." Tsk. Bibigyan ka na nga lang din ng kapareha. Babae pa na mas maganda sayo at may saltik sa utak. Where's justice? "No. I'm in the right place. We're engaged." "Baliw ka ba?" Asar na tanong ko na sa kanya. Nauubos na ang pasensya ko dahil inaantok pa ko. Nagtatakang tiningnan ako ng mga matang kulay tsokolate na iyon. "Me?" Hinagod pa ako nito ng tingin mula ulo hanggang paa. "Shit, why am I trapped with you? I wonder. I could have atleast chose a better one. My toenails is way more appealing than you!" Ano daw? Sa sobrang inis ko ay hindi ko napigilang hubarin ang suot kong house slippers at batuhin sya niyon. Sino ba naman ang hindi maiinis? Kagigising mo lang ay may kakatok na sa tapat ng pintuan nyo para lang mangtrip. Pagkatapos sasabayan pa ng panglalait. Tila naman umurong lahat ng tapang ko ng mag angat ng tingin mula sa tsinelas na tumama sa pisngi nito ang babaeng iyon na may pares ng kulay tsokolateng mata. She gave me a chillin' smile pagkatapos ay dinampot ang tsinelas ko saka ubod ng lakas na binato din sakin yung tsinelas ko. Fudge! My pretty face! "There, we're quits. That's what engaged people do. They give and take." pagkatapos ay ngumiti ng pagkatamis tamis na akala mo santita. "Hmm. Bakit parang mas maganda pa sayo yung slippers mo? You could have bought a face too." Ano daw? Papatayin ko talaga tong baliw na babaeng ito. ***

"Damn that woman. She wasn't even nice to start with. Paasa!" Mula sa kinatatayuan ko ay napalingon ako sa pinanggalingan ng boses na iyon. Halatang lasing na. There's a 5'11 tall girl, with a glass of brandy on her right hand. Nakasandal ito sa pader habang nakatingin sa may gilid ng pool. She reminds me of Grant's height and Leigh's physique. Pati pormahan, Leigh na Leigh yung datingan. I was busy looking at her when she childishly sat on the edge of the pool. Tinanggal nito yung stilettos nito at walang pakialam kahit mabasa pa yung skirt nito habang nakaupo sa gilid. Her white long legs are exposed dahil sa nalilis nitong skirt. Out of my normal, I'll just let it pass. "I've been chasing her for two fuckin' years. But she's not even seeing me as her equal. It sucks." Seryoso. Lasing na talaga siguro 'to. Don't tell me babae talaga yung tinutukoy nya? Natatawang nilapitan ko tuloy ito. A small talk won't hurt right? "Hey, Are you okay?" Natigilan ako nang umangat yung kulay light blue nitong mga mata patingin sa akin. I'm not fond of blue eyes. But hers is as clear as a sky. She's still brimming into tears. "Get out!" Gusto kong matawa. Para talaga syang bata. It reminds me of my bestfriend. "What's wrong with you?" Inabot ko sa kanya yung white hanky ko. "Are you stalking me?" "No, of course not. Why would I?" "Hindi mo ako kilala?" I gently shake my head. "Sabagay. You look like a commoner." Tumingin pa sya sakin mula ulo hanggang paa. Fine, I'm wearing black fitted jeans, my casual white tees, and white sneakers. Kagagaling ko lang kasi sa hangar kanina. I just need a drink kaya naghanap ako ng may party. "Do you usually talk to a stranger?" tanong pa nito. "Of course. Talking to someone you do not know is relieving. Especially when you need to talk." Tumayo ito at lumapit sakin. Napatingala naman ako dito. "I don't need to talk. I need to prove something. Stay still, stranger." And then she kissed me. Fucks! What!?

"What makes you think you're already in love? You haven't even met that Zero." Natawa naman ako sa kaibigan kong si Leigh habang inaayos ko yung sintas ng sapatos ko. "Why Leigh? Do you fall in love at first sight? Hindi naman din di ba? Saka sabi mo, fall in love with the character. That's why I think I'm falling for this Zero." "You don't even know him yet, Van." "Exactly. Kaya nga ako naeexcite e. It seems that we don't know each other yet. But we can already feel the connection as if we've known each other for a long time." Natahimik naman ito doon. Pagkatapos ay sinimulan na din magpalit ng jersey. "Just slow down. You might find yourself breaking. Mamaya gamitin ka lang nyan." Umismid naman ako. "Gaya ng mga exes mo? Y'know what's wrong with you, Leigh? Pinangungunahan mo lahat. That's why no one can keep up with your standards." "Hey, I'm just saying if what if he's a psycho? A stalker? A hooker?" Tumawa naman ako dito. She's really paranoid. "Just step out of your safe zone, Leigh. You're already missing the most exciting part of life." "Slowing down isn't always bad, Vanilla." "Yeah, but look at you. Seriously? Continous failed relationships?" "Ikaw din naman a. Why aren't you finding the right one yet?" "I already found him. That's zero. I can feel the connection. He guesses everything about me perfectly. Like all of my favorites and quirks that only you and the girls can tell." I gave her an elated smile. "So, back off. And just be happy for me. Okay?" "What if that's a stalker or a paparazzi that already run a background check with you?" "Ang negative mo, Leigh. Seriously, just fall in love and get a life." Ngumiti ito ng nakakaloko. "Okay, so what will you do if that Zero is a girl?" Natigilan naman ako. "You're not Zero, are you?" "Of course not." Nakahinga naman ako. "As long as it's not you, I'm okay." "Why?" "Because I don't want to end up with a puppet like you. Yikes! A barbie doll of everyone."

Intelligence is not something everyone should crave. It's like putting an active rolling film in your head that never stops. What's running in their heads? Have you ever wonder? Their mind is working and running all the time. And commoners won't even appreciate their jokes most of the time. But Geniuses seldom crack a joke. For them, fun is something out of normal. Something normal people won't understand. I never get bored. I love fun and thrilling things. But I won't mind enjoying my solitude too. Having sex is one thing. Killing is another thing. Doxing is my hobby. Watching everyone is my pasttime. Hacking is my greatest feat. Who am I? I'm not sure. Some calls me the Famous Latina Girl. Others call me the Brain. Most people call me the Genius Kid. Some will say I'm the cursed child. While few call me Grant. Just Grant Silva. No, I'm either genius or crazy. Maybe neither of both. My father is a genius. My mother was a madwoman. Go figure out in which category I fall. Tell me. I want to know too.

At some point in my life, I choose to let go of her. And not because I stopped loving her, but because I had reached the point that I was drained and can no longer continue fighting for her when all she gives me in return is pain. It's not about asking to get my feelings reciprocated, I just realized that I deserve the same amount of love that I am giving. And it hurts to know that when I decided to let go, she didn't hold my hand to keep holding on. She never tried to fight for her place in my heart. -Hariette I'm not afraid of love. I am afraid to feel the pain. That's why I keep pushing you away. It's tiring. But I'm afraid that I will never heal and be whole again. Because nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you." -Candice Love turned to loved. Saying first hello's to saying goodbyes. I love you to I miss you. Promises turned into sorry. Love isn't fair you know? What we have is more than that. Ours may not be normal. But isn't this what everyone wants? Stable and secure relationship. I love you and you love me. We trust each other like no one else can. There will be no pain in our kind of love. -Alliston

"Change your clothes." Napatingin ako sa suot ko. It's just a knee-length simple dress. Formal naman para sa meeting namin ngayon kasama ng mga investor nya. Sinundo na nya ako sa unit dahil lagi akong nalelate. "Problema mo ba? I'm decent. It's not my fault that you're just out-fashioned." Sinulyapan ko pa yung suot nyang dark blue pant suit na katerno ng suot nyang white na tops at dark blue blazer. Masyadong conservative tingnan. "Just change your clothes." This time, pautos na iyon. "Ayoko nga. Bakit hindi ikaw ang magpalit ng dam-" Napasinghap ako nang hablutin nya ako palapit sa kanya. "You are utterly indecent." Mahinang bulong pa nito. Pakiramdam ko para akong ipinako sa pwesto ko habang magkadikit kaming dalawa. "Change your clothes or I'll do it for you?" Napalunok muna ako ng ilang beses bago sinalubong yung mga mata nya. I am Alliston Parker, hindi ako natatakot sa kanya. "Change Alli. I don't want to get into trouble tonight." "Trouble?" Itinuro nya ako. "It's a sin to look so tempting and dashing like that, it's not fair." She murmured again under her breath. Nalilitong tiningnan ko si Louella. "Tempting and dashing?" Baliw ba sya? Hindi na nga ako nag-ayos dahil aawayin na naman nya ako pag nahuli kami. Umiling ito na para bang gusto na akong sapakin. "Basta magpalit ka! Ayoko ng ganyang suot mo. Mag-jeans ka na lang. You're not even the one I'm bargaining to them. Make yourself presentable and decent, atleast." Inggitera talaga itong matandang ito. Palibhasa napaglipasan na ng panahon. Yung kagaya kasi nitong malapit ng mawala sa kalendaryo yung naiinsecure sa mga ganitong itsura na gaya ng sakin. "Ibigay mo na kaya sakin yung kailangan ko sayo para tigilan na natin ito? Sarap mo talagang patayin na lang." Bubulong - bulong na sabi ko. Napapikit na lang ako nang maramdaman na lumulutang na ako sa ere. Damn! "Ang dami mong reklamo." Naiiritang sambit nito. "Let me just show you how tempting you look for me." *

"You may not want to be in my head. You might find someone other than myself that you won't be able to forget. It'll haunt you like a nightmare you can't tell. " "Silly. What's in that tough demeanor, ate Cray?" tumawa lang si Ember at kumapit ulit sa braso ko. "I like you. That's enough right?" Napailing na lang ako sa inaasal nito. If she'll learn our history, she'll then understand. Pinalis ko yung kamay nitong nakakapit na naman sa braso ko. "Compose yourself, Ember. I don't like you. You're just like a sister to me. Someone I had to protect with my life." I caught the way those words cut through her. It's visible in the same set of lifeless coal eyes that I am most familiar with. "Bakit?" I stared at her blankly. "Atleast tell me what you don't like about me." "That's exactly why it hurts the way it hurts." Napangiti ako ng mapait. "You have too many questions, too many words, in your head. But those will be left unsaid. Like me, you have to suffer through the intricacy of feeling too much every single day of your life. It hurts like hell." "Damn you. I like you." "You like me for what?" "You. You're not like everyone else. You're so sure of yourself. You're clever. You're self-made. You're everything. Everyone likes you. So you should be mine." I laughed at how shallow those things meant for her. Someone who can't even meet me in the depths of my shattered soul. "Thanks. But those are all my disorder." As i was about to turn my back, she whispered, "I actually feel sorry for you. You still don't know what it was that you even had. And yet still choose to lose. But one day, you'll see me for who I really am. And you're going to hate yourself for turning me down." No, Ember. You're wrong. I know you. You don't know me. Our past will surely haunt us. For you, I'll just be a girl known by everyone. But in fact, known by no one. It's terrible isn't it? The way we throw people away. ****

And then my soul saw you and it kind of went, "Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you"

"Someday, someone won't be afraid of how much you love. They won't stay on the shore; they'll meet you in the depths."