Having a bad day? Need a good laugh? This book is just for you! (A compilation of jokes I have found online & offline. Credits goes to the many humorous authors.)

Being kidnapped is one thing. Being taken to a Kingdom full of immortal vampires, that's another thing. To everyone, Raven is nobody. If anything, she's an average 20 year old living in the Big Apple. Overlooked by everyone, even her own family, Raven is used to being a ghost. That was until Alec came to New York City. Sent by his family, the 143 year old vampire has a week to find her... His soulmate. He has one week to bring her home. One week to take her back to the Kingdom that one day he will rule. But who said bringing a beautiful mortal girl back to a Kingdom was easy? ♱ Sequel : Her Wicked Secret

Religion rules Constantine's world...and she has been condemned as the Spawn of the Devil. She is a Champion, a human being blessed with superhuman abilities by the deities of her world. However, her patron happens to be the Lord of War and Strategy - and women were never supposed to be Champions of War. In order to survive in a world that would rip her apart, she disguises as a boy, training to fulfil her supposed destiny. But fate has other things in store for her. An ancient evil is rising - and only Constantine may have the power needed to fight it. Along with a brash warrior and a too-perceptive scholar, Constantine begins to unravel secrets of a prophecy foretelling the end of the world. Now, she must learn how to fight evil with nothing but a magical knife as well as powers she knows next-to-nothing of. The real problem though? She may have been the one to call the great evil in the first place. ************ Now a Wattpad Featured story! Highest ranking: #1 in Fantasy Cover by @seventhstar Previous cover by @TrafficCop Original cover sketch by @MissBookNut, colours by @AFlyingPug

Three children realize they're trapped in the basement of a crazy woman who claims to be their mother, and forces them to call her "Mommy". __________________ created February 4th, 2017 IMPORTANT NOTICE - if you're reading this story on a site that is not www.wattpad.com then you could be at risk of a malware attack. Furthermore, please go to this link: www.wattpad.com/user/z0mbies, and report to me where you are reading this story. Thank you. WARNING: This story contains distressing material. Reader discretion advised. The characters in this book are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

🖤 The completed version is now only available for free on Inkitt🖤 (link in bio) Second book in Angels, Gods & Demons series ** Strong arms wrapped around my much smaller frame, comfortable warmth engulfing my tingling body, followed by the softest, sweetest touch of his lips against mine, moving in a slow, gentle kiss. My eyelids fluttered closed on their own accord, pressing myself even closer, my hand finding its way around his neck, burying my fingers in his short soft hair while the small sparks of bright light still danced in between us, mixing with each other. It felt so magical, so utterly ethereal, the way his entire being felt so close to mine, tiny pieces of himself tangling with mine, like small silvery strings those tiny pieces drawing us together, creating a supernatural bond.

A prince, rumored to be son of the Devil. He is the definition of Danger. He is the Darkness itself. A princess. Imprisoned in her own home, only to come out once she gets married. But married to whom? *** Once upon a time, the Devil fell in love with one of the King's many wives. One night he went to her room disguised as her husband and made love to her. She got pregnant with his child. Knowing this The King ordered her execution believing his wife cheated on him, but then the Devil appeared to the king making him a deal. In exchange for great power for his Kingdom, the King will let his wife Sire The Devil's Child. The King who was greedy for power agrees to the deal and his Kingdom becomes one of the most powerful Kingdoms and the Devil's Child the seventh Prince of the Kingdom. Being a princess probably sounds nice. A life full of luxury, beautiful dresses and nice shoes but for Hazel, there is nothing nice about being a princess. She can never go outside the palace, she can never have friends, she can never eat or say or wear whatever she wants and she can never choose the person she is going to marry. Soon she's getting married to a man she has never met, a prince rumored to be Son of the Devil. *Mature content.

Thief. Murderer. Mage. Prince. Warrior. Heroes. 16 year-old Sabin's plans to join the army change when he learns he is a Serien - a warrior who wields an element. With a sentient sword, he must find the other Seriens. His goal: unite them into a force capable of defending humanity from the Guan, a humanoid race believed to be extinct. His charges are a belligerent thief, sarcastic assassin, adorable mage and arrogant prince. Each with their own agenda. Stand together or die alone. The hero price is never fair. ------------ Book 1 of the Path of Light and Fire series. Book 2 - Dragon & Phoenix (Completed). Book 3 - Frozen Light (Under Construction) The Appendix and extras can be found in the companion book "A World of Light and Fire."

Fate has promised me the shittiest ever after... Death. Fortunately, I've never been very good at accepting bullshit endings. Echo Wilde grew up with a gift she never wanted. She could see the creatures that starred in both fairy tales and horror stories alike. Now, at nineteen, she's finally living her life the way she wants. That all comes to an abrupt stop when she finds herself torn from her life and thrown in the middle of the world she never wanted to be apart of. Navigating the Courts, she will have to find a way to survive where she is destined to die. But what if survival comes in the form of a vampire with dark eyes and an agenda; a common enemy of the Courts? #4 in Paranormal 02-22-2018 #5 in Paranormal 02-23-2018 #6 in Paranormal 03-21-2018 ⚠ Warning: Contains strong language and a crude protagonist. If you find any mistakes, please let me know. I've done the first edit, but I'm sure I've missed some stuff.

"My dad sold me to a pack of werewolves to settle his gambling debt." ❀ "I'm going to count to three," Logan growls. He doesn't have to say the rest. If I haven't come to him by then, he'll come to me... and I'll regret it. I know this game, and I know there is only one way it can end: with broken bones. If I don't come to him, his wolf will take over and he'll make me pay. If I obey, his wolf will still take over, and I'll still be the one suffering the consequences. "One," Logan snaps. A tear slowly rolls down my cheek and I dig my nails into my palm until they draw blood. More tears join the first and my lower lip trembles. I want Logan to see how much he's hurting me. "Two," Logan counts, gesturing for me to come to him. I know that he's filled with anticipation. He's hoping for 'three,' craving it. ❀ Three Books in One: Sold to a Wolf Pack | ✔ Saved by a Wolf Pack | ✔ Loved by a Wolf Pack | Ongoing ❀ A fake Omega: Saffron is a rogue, but when her dad sells her to a pack of werewolves, she also has to pretend to be an Omega. Good thing she has a plan: to escape the first chance she gets. A not so mean Alpha: Logan just wants to find his mate and his happily ever after, but instead of the perfect Luna, he gets a weak, frightened Omega. Good thing his dad has a plan: make everyone in the pack mistreat Saffron so she'll finally stand up for herself. An epic romance: Saffron and Logan are meant to be, but will they realize it before it's too late? Not everything is as it seems, and with an enemy threatening to destroy the pack, time is running out. ❀ 167,102 words ❀ Has been ranked #1 in: Werewolf, Paranormal, Romance, Teen Fiction, Humor, Fantasy, General Fiction, Action and even Vampire!