BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC by WhatMurdah "In my humble opinion there's only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic." And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three. When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt's controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other-their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press. Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione's attention and pines for a real marriage with her-even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco's blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body. (With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson's career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione's Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco's right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.) NOTE: this is not my work i just know people like reading it here better than ao3

*BEING REWORKED* With dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, you find yourself there in the castle that lay beyond the goblin city. There, caught in the crosshairs between reality and him, you find that memories differ greatly from dreams. Cover photo credits go to the one who made this beautiful piece of art. Edit of the photo is my work. This fanfic is going to be towards a more mature audience so I don't suggest reading this if you detest smut. *previously titled Kings and Queens.* . . . . Highest ranking "#1 in David Bowie" Highest ranking "#1 in Labyrinth"

It's been three years since Sarah beat the Labyrinth, but Jareth the Goblin King somehow manages to find a loophole to take her back to the Underground. Her dreams of freedom are being shattered by the one man she had hoped to never see again. However, in the time he took to get her back, someone has taken control of his Labyrinth, imprisoning his goblins along with Sarah's friends. Can they set aside their differences and work together to get his Labyrinth back? Will Sarah find that she can grow to care for the arrogant Goblin King? (Disclaimer: (to be safe) I only own some characters and scenes in this, most belong to Jim Henson. Also don't own any of the pictures or gifs I use, they just add a nice touch to the beauty of my story).

Sarah just defeated the Goblin King and won her brother back but she is back to the Labyrinth the next morning after an accident. Without knowing how or why, Sarah and the Goblin King, must, together, find the reason and a way home. A way home? Was there any?

(Under editing. Came to my attention, some of my chapters are no longer here, so I apologize if this book is confusing!) I created this idea around a young age when I first watched the movie and I did NOT like the ending but to be fair I was young and only wanted the sexy man (and not thinking about the kid.. opps) Down the road, when I was in middle school and started getting more invested into writing. (EDIT: The unedited/ editing versions are very... Thank you for the love and support!) ___READ___ -I DO NOT own the characters Sarah, Jareth, Toby, Mizumi, Drumlin and Moulin (Two daughters), or the little cloud that shows up in story. -I DO own the characters of Blue and Shadow (own goblin), Buck (Realm Lord and Jareth's oldest friend.) -I got this idea while reading other forms of The Labyrinth story lines; and I got the idea of my Fanfic by the manga, Return of the Labyrinth- Author: Jake T. Forbes, Illustrator: Chris Lie (Cover Art By: Kouyu Shurei) Publisher: Madman Entertainment (Australia and New Zealand) Tokyopop (North America) (2006-2010) -So overall, I DO OWN the rights to original characters (Blue, Shadow, Buck, (And the other Realm Lord that doesn't show in this book), The nameless antagonist, The Crystal Heart (The effects and powers), (The Ice Queen Powers, Goblin King Powers, etc.)

Based on the 1986 film, Sarah has made her way through the Labyrinth to win back her baby brother Toby, when she makes a horrible mistake in a dream that she will regret for the rest of her life.........or will she? Disclaimer: All characters and plots are owned by Jim Henson.

I only recommend this story for people who have seen, understood, and enjoyed the 1986 movie Labyrinth, starring David Bowie(and his awesomeness) as Jareth-the villain-and Jennifer Connelly as Sarah-the main character. For those of you who haven't, watch it before reading this story my amazing brain came up with. Sarah and her friends return in this amazing new adventure, Labyrinth 2: Jareth's Comeback. The all-powerful(and totally frightening) Jareth has returned in need of a bride; a young maiden to assist Jareth's rule in the new era of the goblin kingdom! Alas, the only girl Jareth would ever settle for is Sarah, and it will always be that way. But Sarah-even though she had fallen for him with the help of his tricks in the previous adventure-still sees this magic-wielder as an uncaring, selfish, cruel man. But the truth is...he never wanted Toby. He never would've harmed him, the whole thing was done with a decoy. All he wanted was Sarah. Through dangers untold, and hardships unnumbered, Jareth will find a way into Sarah's heart once again, even though her will is as strong as his, and her kingdom as great. But worst of all, he may not find a way, for he has no power over her... *new cover created by abyss-of-crazy*

Oh dear, the impossible has happened. I, the incredibly level headed ruler of darkness, have written a fanfic. Oh no. The world that you thought you knew was all a lie. I am so sorry. If you despise me for this, vote, comment and like anyway! ^_^

*ALERT* THIS IS THE UNEDITED VERSION OF DYING BREATH *ALERT* The edited version has begun to be posted so if you wish to read those chapters, feel free too. The plot is the same but the writing is much better. SUMMARY: When Sarah falls sick unexpectedly and learns she is on her death bed, her teenage nemesis reappears still willing to offer her her dreams. Will she accept or act the part of an idiot and reject immortality?

Sarah's return to the labyrinth: sooner than you might think, is one of my many imaginings about what could have happened after the film. I know how I want to start it but have no idea about how to finish, so it will be a journey we take together. Please note that, in this story, Sarah was 20 when she first entered the labyrinth. not 15. Thank you for reading Labyrinth