my name is dan, not danielle × somewhat based off of the short film boy (HIGHEST RANKING: #2 in fanfiction)

"But I'm straight." Those three words are the words that take Phil over the edge. Like his world is crashing down on him. What's up with his constant flirting and his cheeky smiles and lovey dovey eyes. Phil knows something's up, and he's determined to find out what that something is. //warning: swearing, self harm, and eventually smut//

Enter a world in which Irish Ogres reign supreme. Follow JackShrekticEye as he defeats the evil Lord Markquaad.