"This is Westerden Optometrist. What are your symptoms?" "For starters, my eyesight has been super blurry and distorted, and this problem is starting to screw up seventeen-year-old life. Speaking of which, you sound kind of young for an optometrist. How old are you?" "Um, I don't think it'd be the greatest idea for that blurry eyesight of yours to be treated by a guy your own age." "My own... oh no." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Short Story #4 (03/04/16) Wattpad Featured Story (July 2017) © 2015 evethespy. All Rights Reserved.

❝Hello, this is the Starb-❞ ❝HEEELP ME!! PLEASE! THERE'S A MURDERER IN MY HOUSE!❞ ❝OH SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!! WHAT DO I DO?! THIS IS STARBUCKS, NOT FREAKING 911. WAIT, HOLD ON. TRY TO KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE, I'LL CALL 911!! STAY CALM. IT'S GOING TO BE O- ❞ ❝Wait...did you just say Starbucks?❞ ❝Um...yeah?❞ ❝They have a hotline?❞ ---- fun conversations between two Potterheads over the Starbucks hotline. [highest rank: #6 in short story] [highest rank: #2 in short story 5/6/17]

"This is Julio's pizzeria, what would you like to order?" "Hi, could I have a large pepperoni pizza with a double chocolate mocha delivered to 76 Maple Avenue?" "That will be 13.50. Anything else?" "Not really." "Your order will be ready in 20 minutes. Thank you for calling." "No problemo, love ya." "Love you too." "..." "..." "Did you just --" "Don't expect any discount on your pizza just because I expressed my undying love for you." // idea from tumblr \\ //and yes This is cliche\\

"Aloo--" "I'm hungry." "Problem solved! We deliver donuts, where do you want that?" "I don't. I'm craving McNuggets." "..." "And you." #14 in Dialogue (13 July, 2018) #68 IN SHORT STORY - 30/4/2017

"hello, sweet treats bakery at your service. how may i help yo-" "did you know that the first macaron was made in italy?" "uh, no?" "do you have macarons?" "yes, ma'am." "great! i'll order about, 4 dozen. thanks, see you soon." {lower case intended} {highest rank: #159 in short story} © SUNRAYYS

"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." "Oh, shiitake mushrooms." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Short Story #1 (19/04/18) 2016 Fiction Awards Finalist © 2015 evethespy. All Rights Reserved.

[Second Book in the Snacks Trilogy] Accident: [noun] an event that happens by chance or that is without apparent or deliberate cause. -- ❝Hi, I'm calling regarding the Pickled Onions I bought from your company. I was wondering-❞ ❝Er-❞ ❝Well, my sister is pregnant and she's been craving Pickled Onions and so I chose your company and I just-❞ ❝What Pickled Onion? I swear I didn't steal it!❞ ▂▂▂▂ When Jonah supposedly calls Organic Pickles to order some more jars of Pickled Onions, he misdials and ends up talking to a girl who denies stealing Pickled Onions. What can happen from a confusing conversation? If you are reading this story on a platform other than Wattpad, you are at a risk of malware attacks. Highest Ranking : #18 in SS Cover by @ashtonlirwin ©feelthenirvana 2017 All Rights Reserved