Serena Davidson leads two lives. At school, she's a morbidly obese, stupid, nerdy, bitchy, slutty, and a teacher's pet. But at home she's the scrawny vegetarian pushover. What would possess someone to wear a fat suit every day? And what happens when someone finds out?

"Go ahead," I said, backing up against the pink wall of the shop. "Do something other than glare at me." I waited. One, two, three seconds... and nothing. I raised my chin at him. "You're boring me, mute boy." He stepped closer. Leaned toward me as his gaze burned into mine. Then... ❀ ❀ ❀ After three months in juvenile detention, it's time for Romy Pereira to help out with her family's flower shop. And it's not all bad... until they hire Jack Michel to work beside her. He doesn't speak, communicating with glares and scowls instead of words, and seems to be more interested in literal rocks than other human beings. And with an ex-convict mother, her friends drifting away, and the flower shop falling apart, the last thing Romy wants to deal with is Jack's attitude. She'll forever praise the day he screws up big time and gets himself fired, but until that day comes, it's mostly one cold-hearted girl, her silent (but still infuriating) coworker, and a whole lot flowers. [word count: 100k] [originally written in 2014-2015; re-write completed 2020-2021] ❀ Rankings ❀ #1 in #badgirl #1 in #goodboy #1 in #flowershop #1 in #sociopath

Kennedy (Kenna) isn't known for her beauty. She's never been complimented on her appearance unless being called beautiful by your family counts, and to Kenna- it doesn't. Sick of being ignored because of her looks, Kennedy gives herself a makeover but it isn't very successful. After encountering a crying Marissa Rivers on the behalf of her obnoxious brother, Noah, she becomes acquaintances with the girl. After a chat about Kenna's failed efforts at makeup and how she's a nondrinker, she offers Kenna the help of her and her friends. Kenna graciously agrees but there's a catch. Kenna will have to be the girls' designated driver to the next few parties that they want to attend until she can do her own makeup which may take a while but what happens when Kenna accidentally gets drunk at one of the parties and Noah has to bring her and the other girls back to their home? She gets involved in a lot more than she planned. And it seems as if all she wanted was to become beautiful.

They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

Every Father scowls at him. Every Mother prays from him. Every boy hates him. And every girl stays away from him. Because he was Link Dane. That one boy who seemed even more messed up than imaginable. And then there's Orianna, who wishes she could do all of those above and forget he ever existed. But she can't. Simply because Link Dane has secrets that will end her in all ways possible. And he's back to fuck Ori up. © 2015 All rights reserved Cover by @radteens

[Watty's 2015 Winner] one lie. one fake relationship. one million problems. © 2016 Virgo Rose Edwards. trailer made by @novemberdreamer