Soo Natalie now known as Clockwork has only ever loved one guy...Chris...and wat happened with that he broke her heart. After that Natalie became Clockwork feeling no emotion at all until one day her victim becomes a friend and then maybe a little more if she would stop being so stubborn.

Ask us anything! And also some daresss :3

a whole bunch of funny jokes. enjoy.

The adventures of Xena, Emiley, and the Creepypastas. Warning: In order to understand a few things about this, you have to be reading my "Ask Dem Creepypstas". Also I'm not funny at all so this should be fun...

Growing up in white-bread Omaha, Nebraska, Rachel Shukert was one of thirty-seven students (circa 1990) in Nebraska’s only Jewish elementary school. She spent her days dreaming of a fantasy Aryan boyfriend named Chris McPresbyterian, a tall blond god whose family spoke softly in public and did not inquire after his bowel movements. She spent her nights frantically plastering her bedroom with pictures of intimidating co-religionists such as Henry Kissinger and Bette Midler, hoping to repel the Gestapo officers she was certain were lurking behind the drywall. Even back then, Rachel knew she was destined for greatness. After winning the Omaha Metropolitan Area Theater Arts Guild Award for Best Youth Actress–and imagining herself as the biggest talent to come out of Nebraska since Montgomery Clift–Rachel finally arrives in Manhattan. Intent on making her mark in the glittering world of Show Biz, she isthwarted at every turn by episodes of anorexia, verbally abusive sock puppets, and a certain terrorist attack you may have heard of. She nevertheless soldiers on, as her people have done from time immemorial. In this hilarious, mordant, and moving memoir, Rachel Shukert tackles topics as diverse and weighty as life, death, love, Jewish paranoia, and errant feminine hygiene products with a fresh and irresistible mixture of humor, brains, and candor, proving that having no shame can sometimes be a very good thing indeed.

I am Ticci-Tina. Never heard of me? Good. I am Ticci-Toby's identical twin sister, Tina. I guess I'm... overly-possesive and protective. This is my life story. How I met my brother. How I found him. He's good at hiding, I'll give him that. But, I always get what I want... whether it's a kill, to be alone, or have him. So, I chose to have him. The only family I have left, that might actually still love me... unlike my mother. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> Cover is made by me. I took a picture someone else made, and just tweaked it a lot.

is this love? *blush* a story about love, three loves, and all because i wanted to kill a girl with my new poision lip balm god dammit

Jay Myers remembers looking through her yearbook photos, always smiling and laughing in every photo. Now that she had transferred schools, there was only one thing she didn't like about the yearbooks, the one boy who was either being bullied, or was crying. He was in a few pictures, and always looked depressed. The boy every one knew and called, Ticci Toby

Alright so there's BEN and Jeff but who's rants are we missing again...? Oh Yeah! Eyeless Jack. One of the very important pastas. In his stories, it's the same thing. Like the saying goes: 'Same story, different day.' Let's begin, shall we?

Have you ever wondered what your dog is thinking? Zelda is a curly-tailed, wrinkly, stubborn pug. But, she isn't an ordinary pug content to eat and sleep her days away. Zelda is always searching for a new adventure, mystery to solve, or squirrel to catch, and her unexpected reactions cause readers to smile and laugh. The thirteen short stories in this book connect and build into a story arc creating an exciting chapter book for young readers, providing a glimpse into the mind of a curious canine. But no matter your age, pug fanatics and dog lovers will enjoy the adventures of this enchanting pug who grabs life like a bone and won't let go. The Adventures of Zelda series is available for purchase in ebook and paperback formats. Learn more here - http://kristenotte.com/books/the-adventures-of-zelda-series/