Humor
9 stories
Beyond The Pale by helenaxsofie
helenaxsofie
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We're always drawn to something we can't have. I just happen to be drawn to a criminal, a man who is beyond the pale. "Mi Amor, put the knife down." His words were so calm and husky. They weren't suppose to arouse her. She was holding on to the butcher knife with her dear life. "How do you know where I live! You shouldn't be here." Her voice wobbled, the first sharp stab of anxiety hit her when he took a step towards her. Why was he here? She stared in fear at the man in front of her. His naked chest glistened with sweat, his body tight, muscly and toned. Mouth watering. In the dim light of her kitchen, her eyes managed to travel over the tattoos on his right peck and bicep. "I shouldn't, but I am." He gave a slow sexy smile at her as he put his hands up in surrender. Her eyes widened at the evident bulge that was restricted in his black sweat pants. "Get out!" Before she knew it, he had lunged at her. Her knife now at her throat. "Silencio." Book Cover by Createdforyou
Death Is My BFFLAD (Book Two Original Series) by katrocks247
katrocks247
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(Bfflad- Best friends for life and death) Dear Reader, Let's start at the beginning shall we? I died. Oh no, not one of these stories again where someone angelic and heroic saves the damsel in distress. If only I was that lucky. My heart stopped beating. My lungs stopped working, my soul began to lift away... And then I was saved by a beautiful man with a kind heart and sparkles sprinkled around his head in a golden halo. A cunning, dazzling smile etched his angled features and his hair lay perfectly on his head like...black, sinful layers of pure cynical distrusting evil. Evil that was just waiting to onset a innocent girl as myself and allow her a short amount of time of happiness, and then finish her off when she became older. I'll give you a hint. The beginning of that description was slightly exaggerated. The Angel of Death. One of the only creatures known that was capable of settling the boundaries of heaven on earth. The only creature capable of making one of the Devil's darkest deals to my loving mother; a second chance for her daughter. This comes with consequences of course. Everything you know about Death is wrong. Death is not natural, Death is not normal, Death is not doleful, and Death is far from mercenary. Death blends into the shadows like coal against the most atramentous sky. Death walks the earth with his cursed, monstrous and exotic features, his enticing voice and betraying alluring eyes. Death deceives, scratches, and plays with your mind, until you slowly and painfully loose your grip on reality. He'll make you believe he's a different person, that there's a sliver hope for him. Hope for you. Death is close. Forever and always, Faith Williams ************ DIMBFF FAN CLUB ON FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1605057011183.80718.1378871754&type=1#!/groups/308207282529485/ **** MY WRITING PAGE! Please join! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kat-aka-katrocks247-from-Wattpad/208740202517075
Death Is My Frenemy (Book Three) by katrocks247
katrocks247
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Dear Reader, It hadn't hit me right away, many things, but especially the fact that I was about to turn twenty years old. It was as if it was just yesterday that I was learning how to make a peanut butter sandwiches, tie my shoes, and draw endlessly with fat crayons--which I thoroughly believed to be a masterpiece. It had to be yesterday, when I was befriending any new person that I met with a dazzling smile. No, those were the years that I was numb--masked from the world and blissfully unaware of the dangers and lingering dark edges of the Chicago city. Life moves fast; terrifyingly fast for some, especially those who try and anchor down each and every day of their existence. For others, it moves drearily slow. I use to be numb, I use to be unaware of the shadows deep within the corners of the earth, the watchful figures around me. I use to draw scribbles, struggle to tie my shoes, and fail at doing the simple things, like tying shoes. I use to make friends with anyone I met and kept that friendship over a promise. I use to do a lot of things, actually. But that was when life was a whole lot simpler, safer, and perfect. That was before I knew about Death. That was before he became my frenemy. Forever and always, Faith Williams *** MY WRITING PAGE! Please join! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kat-aka-katrocks247-from-Wattpad/208740202517075
Death Is My Friend with Benefits (Book Four - WA Winner 2013) by katrocks247
katrocks247
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My Watty Awards 2013 Winner! The fourth installment of the DIMBFF series continues the thrilling journey of a young woman, Faith Williams, battling for her life, and the Angel of Death dragging her further into his world. *** My writing page! Please join! <3 http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kat-aka-katrocks247-from-Wattpad/208740202517075 *** DIMBFF Facebook group! Join!! https://www.facebook.com/groups/308207282529485/
Death Is My BFF (Book 1 Original Series) by katrocks247
katrocks247
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Watty Award Winner 2011) *ORIGINAL SERIES* This is the first book of the Original Death Is My BFF Series, which won the Watty Awards in 2011! *** Death came knocking at her door. Well actually, he pounded. Faith Williams has always been a little odd, but never before did she think she was one of a kind. Enter Death, the legendary, sadistic, and irresistible Grim Reaper who sparred Faith's life when she was a child. The more she tries to resist him, the more he's popping up in her life and turning it entirely upside down. Death is dangerous with a dark past and a thirst for revenge, and Faith Williams is slowly becoming unable to resist his power over her. Who is the man under the hood? What does he want with her? Most importantly, why the hell does he have a name for his scythe? ** This is the FIRST of the DIMBFF series. *** Fan Made Book Cover uses image from = michellemonique on Deviantart.com! http://michellemonique.deviantart.com/ MY WRITING PAGE! Please join! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kat-aka-katrocks247-from-Wattpad/208740202517075
INIQUITOUS by Swadisky
Swadisky
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"You're going to make me do bad things to you, sweetheart." | Frank Rider is the new teacher. His favourite word is 'detention'. He's iniquitous, rude and vicious. To get on his bad side would be suicide. Unfortunately for Cleo, she's already dived off the bridge. HUMOUR | Thriller | SWADISKY | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
The Quirky Tale of April Hale (Quirky Series #1) by demonicblackcat
demonicblackcat
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Self-proclaimed weirdo April Hale and the notorious troublemaker Ryder Black have been living side by side for more than ten years. Both never attempted to communicate with each other, but on the night Ryder Black is thrown out by his own father, he asks her a question that might change both of their lives: "March, will you let me stay in your room?" He even got her name wrong. - A coming of age story about loss, the wonders of falling in love, and ultimately, pretending to be normal. Get inside April's distorted and yet humorous perspective, and watch as her tale unfolds into a shocking finish. COVER BY @RIVIIX
Death Is My Soul Mate (Book 5) *ON HOLD* by katrocks247
katrocks247
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Please understand that due to Death Is My BFF getting published, the original series is on hold!
NURSE McSEXY (2016 Wattys Winner) by MarilynAHepburn
MarilynAHepburn
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**2016 WATTYS WINNER FOR VISUAL STORYTELLING** Letting her appearance fall to the wayside and desperate to find a reason for her life, Marilyn sits half naked in an Urgent Care examination room with a mysterious skin itch. If she can survive the humiliation of being treated by a sexy male nurse while unraveling the hidden drama woven throughout the hospital staff, Marilyn might leave the hospital cured far below the surface of her skin. NURSE McSEXY is a hilariously enhanced true story (with a healthy dose of fiction) about my mortifying experience involving an allergic reaction, Urgent Care and a sexy male nurse. It was an evening in which one of my greatest fears was encountered--only to reveal my better self on the other side of humiliation. This humorous tale is definitely worth calling in sick for! TO CLARIFY: Despite the title, this is not a tale about a hot and sweaty romance. I mean--I wish it was since it's based on a true story. Unfortunately (depending on how you look at it), my life is a lot more on the belly laughing side of the spectrum than the steaming up mirrors side. Just saying.