a thousand instincts (#1)

Life Lesson #1: If you are planning on going to a nightclub in the middle of sketchy, dark woods, don't. Life Lesson #2: If there are too many attractive, healthy people in said nightclub, be alarmed and rethink Life Lesson #1. Life Lesson #3: If you were foolish enough to ignore rules 1 and 2, I suggest you haul a...