"You'll be fine?" I shrieked. "You just got freaking stabbed! You're letting out more blood than a girl on her period! You are not going to be fine! I have to call the police. No wait, I have to call an ambulance! Oh my God, why didn't I think of that before? Stupid, Genevi-" "Stop talking!" he growled, turning away. I wrung my hands together in panic, trying to calm myself down. "I can take care of this, kitten. Leave me alone. It's just a small wound. Not like I haven't been stabbed before." he muttered the last part. "What?!" "Leave." he growled. I stared at him, unable to close my mouth. I had never seen someone get stabbed before. Heck, I had never seen someone get into a fight before. Ever. The only violence I had experienced was in movies. It was unfortunate for me that I found out how I would react in a danger situation like this. And by react, I mean completely flip the hell out. *LANGUAGE WARNING*

They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)