Based off of the amazing @iwatobiphan 's The Benefits Project, here comes a whole new angle on the story. If you haven't read that book read it before this one!!! You might not understand some of the story if you haven't read The Benefits Project. Basically, this is the same story, but, from Tilly's Point of View. (for those of you who don't know, Tilly is Dan's younger sister in the story) Thank you to @iwatobiphan for the permission to do this and I hope you all enjoy!

mon • o • phob• i• a (noun): an acute fear of being alone.

this is the part when i pour my heart out to you, tell you how i feel, and you laugh in my face, not giving two shits or having any consideration about my feelings. in which a teenage girl named halsey lets out all the fucked up stuff she has pent up inside her every once in a while.

Phil starts getting cute, little messages from a secret admirer and gradually feels himself falling more and more in love with the boy. But can you really like someone you've never seen before? And what will happen when Phil finds out the real identity of his admirer?

Dan is a dancer, but it's his best kept secret. Moving to a new college results in new friends, new hobbies and a new outlook in life; but what does it really mean to be human? A series of strange and seemingly unconnected events unfold that all seem to link back to Dan's mysterious new boyfriend. etcetc phan with kickthestickz This story carries some warnings, however they're p much all spoilers except non-graphic violence and injury on one occasion, and non-described minor character death. No major character death and no self harm. Please message me if you think you'll need to know the TWs! To avoid spoilers, you can give me a list of things you don't want to read for whatever reason and I'll let you know if they're in the fic or not :)

"But I'm straight." Those three words are the words that take Phil over the edge. Like his world is crashing down on him. What's up with his constant flirting and his cheeky smiles and lovey dovey eyes. Phil knows something's up, and he's determined to find out what that something is. //warning: swearing, self harm, and eventually smut//

Dan sat on his bed and looked around. Everything around him was black and white. The posters on the walls were black and white. The clothes he wore were black and white. He ran his fingers over his black and white duvet, feeling how soft it was. "What is color?" Dan thought to himself. "Caspar said you could see it. But what is it? When I look around I see only the lightest shade of light and the darkest shade of dark, and the shades in between. This is not beautiful as Caspar said."

Dan is different. He's learned to accept that. Well, as best he can anyway, considering he's never really had much of a choice. It's been this way for as long as he can remember, the constant runaround process of trying to feel normal. His life is built around it, trying to trick both himself and everyone he interacts with into seeing him as your average person. The isolation as he desperately tries to keep others from finding out, the bitterness that wells up inside of him each and every time he's reminded that he'll never be like everyone else, the fear that nothing will ever change. He's fated to be this way forever; a misfit from society. Isolation can only go so far though, so when he's struggling to make ends meet and he's faced with the option of looking into a serious job or taking on a roommate, he opts for what seems like the easier option at the time. It doesn't seem so easy ten failed roommates into the process, or when he sits down at a table to meet with prospect number eleven and ends up with a coffee spilled all over his lap. Potential roommate number eleven, Phil, turns out to be an insufferable optimistic ball of sunshine that Dan wants nothing to do with. His options are running out though, as are the savings he's been using to pay his rent, so he finds himself begrudgingly agreeing to let the other man move in. Neither of them have any way of knowing just what they've gotten themselves into as they shake on the matter, but time will tell.

Dan is definitely beyond nervous to start at the prestigious boarding school, Harrison Academy. He wants to get away from the past and start a new life, where he meets his dorm mate, Phil Lester. Phil is always happy, it seems, and wants the best for everyone, but as he continues to get to know Dan, he realizes that there's something wrong with this particular boy that maybe even Dan isn't aware of. Warnings: triggers, mental disorders, suicidal mentions, depression, abuse, cussing, and possible smut later

Read to go through a journey of nights and days- highs and lows, see the sun, see the moon, see the stars with Zoe and Alfie. Here's a quote for y'all: "life doesn't promise us much. But it does hold the promise of being life- a life we live once. A life that may be short or long but is completely unpredictable. And Zoe, if there's one thing I've learned by meeting you, it's that the best things in life are often unexpected.." he said, to quote me.