My name is Mary Sue and I'm the ugliest girl you'll ever meet. I have horrible tan skin and ugly blonde hair that reaches my butt. My butt is really big and I have huge boobs. How uglier can I get? Did I mention that my pet turtle died in a car crash when I was 14? I'm 17 now, and this is my horrible life. Oh, my parents are also super rich. (Everything in this story, besides this right here, is a part of the act. The comments I make, the things in parentheses, authors notes, everything is meant as a joke. If you comment and I respond, it will be a joke. Please criticize this marysue making whore. Enjoy.)

Welcome to the first Mary Sue awards! Where writing your worst wins you the gold! Where the spotlight shines on the worst of the worst!

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Just a couple of things that I found just kept getting repeated throughout loads of stories. This isn't aimed at anybody in particular, just meant to be funny.

Still With Me is now published as a Wattpad Book! As a Wattpad reader, you can access both the Original Edition and Books Edition upon purchase. In the third and final book of the "With Me" series, old and new dangers hide around every corner as Amelia and Aiden fight to stay above the drama that threatens to pull them under. ***** After surviving the impossible, all Amelia wants is a normal senior year with the love of her life by her side. But you can only run so far from the past. With painful secrets coming to light, dark truths being uncovered, and enemies attacking from all angles, normal is the last thing she and Aiden can count on. As the dangers they've been running from reach a crescendo, Amelia and Aiden's love is tested like never before. Love may not be easy, but they know some things are worth risking everything for. [[Word count: 60,000 - 70,000]] Cover designed by Laura Mensinga Book Three of the With Me series Content and trigger warning: This story contains violence and mentions rape and drug use

Stay With Me is now published as a Wattpad Book! As a Wattpad reader, you can access both the Original Edition and Books Edition upon purchase. In this sequel to She's With Me, tensions are high as secrets are unraveled after Aiden's arrest. Amelia and Aiden are strong, but even the strongest can sink under the weight of heartbreak and loss. Will they make it out of this mess together, or will the drama get the best of them? ***** It's winter break, which means Amelia, Aiden and their friends can finally enjoy a vacation at the beach house after all the drama they've been through. But misfortune seems to follow them wherever they go. As truths and lies are spilled and emotions revealed, their vacation becomes more explosive than relaxing. And on top of that, Aiden's biological father is back in the picture, but not in the way Aiden, or any of his friends, could have ever imagined. As events escalate like a ticking bomb, Amelia and Aiden have to figure out a new way to survive. Content and trigger warning: This story contains violence and mentions rape and drug use. Book Two of the With Me series.

She's With Me is now published as a Wattpad Book! As a Wattpad reader, you can access both the Original Edition and Books Edition upon purchase. Amelia Collins is in witness protection, starting at a new school in a small town. But when she becomes involved with the most infamous guy at school, she's reminded that she can never truly escape her tragic past. ***** When Amelia Collins moves to a new town with a new identity, she plans to keep her head down and finish her senior year. But this changes when she runs - literally - into the school's hottest badass, the mysterious and brooding Aiden Parker. Soon, Aiden's friend group is calling Amelia one of their own, and she finds herself balancing her new life while trying to recover from a tragic past. During a school year full of new friends and old rivalries, Amelia finds herself falling for Aiden, who has skeletons of his own. But she has to fight those feelings - after all, all Amelia ever does is run. Can she ever truly escape what she's been running from? Or has she finally found a reason to stop? Book One of the With Me series. | ranked #1 | 08.27.2015| | completed | 08.25.2016| | winner of a Talk of the Town WATTY 2016 | | Winner of The 2016 Fiction Awards "Best Teen Fiction"

Funny texts book two! Unlimited jokes, texts and quotes!

Unlimited funny jokes guaranteed to make your day! Credits to whoever made these jokes.