Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

Faith Mitchell was never confident. She was happy to blend into the background, much to the protest of her friends. At 16, her life was a normal teenage cliche. She was in love with Jace, the obnoxious player who she couldn't have, and her biggest worry was whether or not he would finally come to his senses and see that she really was the one for him. That is until she is kidnapped and recruited by a secret agency of assassins. She is torn away from her normal teenage life and thrown into a world of guns, knifes and criminals. The agency mold her into the perfect killing machine, and at 19 she is no longer the shy girl that was snatched away from her uncomplicated life, but a ruthless killer who will stop at nothing to complete whatever mission she is on. Then, the agency has a new mission which involves Faith returning to her hometown, and facing her friends, family and the very boy who broke her heart just before it turned into stone. What will happen once Faith comes face to face with Jace? Will the obnoxious player be able to reach out and get the old Faith back without pressing any of her wrong buttons, considering that the shy girl he once knew now has a gun. (WATTY AWARDS 2011) (THE FICTION AWARDS 2017) ©makeandoffer

Free to read! 19-year-old Jane, newly-single, moves to London to work for her friend, Kitty. But Kitty is hiding something about the café - and about Jane and Kitty's past. ***** If you looked at her Instagram, you'd think Jane had the perfect life. But a family tragedy and a big break up shatters that illusion, prompting Jane to drop out of university and move to London. She gets a room above a bookstore and a job as a barista, thanks to her childhood friend Kitty. Struggling with feelings of loneliness among the happy staff, Jane feels further ostracized when Kitty refuses to discuss Matt, who used to live in the bedroom Jane took over and who left under mysterious circumstances. As Jane struggles to find herself, and get the attention of the cute bartender, Harper, she discovers that the Brew Books café is brewing with dark secrets. [[word count: 70,000-80,000 words]]

Samuel Brandt woke up with his thoughts written all over his body. His brother woke up with his head missing. His sister woke up to find that her skin would crack open unless she stayed in water. All of the other children in the secluded Iowa town of Oak Knoll woke up having undergone strange transformations. Now, they are all forced to live at 407 West Marshall Street, the mysterious house outside of town. With the new name of The Boy with Words for Skin, Samuel wants nothing more than to hide from his new life. He painfully and unpredictably sheds his skin, there is a Voice in the entryway closet that is often cruel, and-perhaps worst of all for a naturally shy boy-the other children look to him as a leader. As his seven-year-old brother struggles with their new life, as terrifying growls start to come from the pitch black basement, and as his feelings for a girl begin to grow, The Boy with Words for Skin realizes that he wants to change. He wants to put others first, learn from his peers, and let himself hope that things will get better. The Boy with Words for Skin is the first book in the 407 West Marshall Street series. Each book will advance the story but be told from a different character. Book 2 will be The Girl without Eyes.

Rosie is meant to hate famous rockstar Will O'Connor, who killed her father in a car crash, but she finds herself falling in love instead. ***** Rock sensation, Will O'Connor is in the prime of his career when he unintentionally kills a man in a car accident. Full of remorse, he must come to terms with his non-guilty verdict. People-pleasing Rosie Montgomery dedicates her life to making others happy. Following her father's death in Will's crash, she becomes desperate to keep her family intact. But when Will and Rosie accidentally meet at her father's grave, there's an undeniable bond. Can they ignore the rest of the world and go after what their hearts most desire? And most importantly - can either of them handle the consequences? [[word count: 80,000-90,000 words]]