Ever since I discovered that my father killed someone else's mother, I promised to myself that I'll look for that guy when I grow up and to pay for what my father did. I want to do that because I know how hard it is to grow up without my mother by my side. I know how painful it is when my mother also died. I don't know how I'm going to approach him when we're crossing our paths that's why I grabbed the opportunity to have my way to him even in a wrong way. Every day that I'm with him I always ask myself, would he forgive me?

He impregnated me accidentally. We marry each other to provide a family for our child. He always ignore me like an air in his house. His only concern is our baby but if it's all about me he doesn't care. Is this the family that our daughter deserve? I'm close to giving up because he still love his girlfriend. I think we're really not for each other.

I did everything. I did everything to be a perfect wife to him. I want his attention, his affection, and his love that a husband could provide. What's wrong with a wife that's seeking love from her husband. I never thought that our marriage was not like the marriage that I dreamed. The sad fact that my husband love someone else.

The lady who did everything to please his father. That's me. But when I realized that I'm not happy anymore with what I'm doing, I go against my father. I became a slut. I let someone used my body. I faced the consequences even though it's not my fault so I don't care anymore what will happen to me after.

He thought I'm fine but deep inside I'm hurt, I'm breaking, I'm suffering. I thought I wouldn't let the word worthless destroy me. But it did. I don't know how and why. I just realized I'm suffering and hurting emotionally and I can't do anything to stop it. I never thought that my best friend was the one behind this. How dare he!

I believe that we should enjoy our life to the fullest. Life is too short to be problematic! Also our purpose in this world is to be happy. That's what I'm doing! I always go out to party and to get wasted. But my family and relatives were not happy. For them, I'm a trash and hopeless. But I really don't care. I will do want I wanted to do because this is my life. I have my own freedom. Unfortunately, my father was more than affected with my lifestyle than me. They sent me to someone else's house to change my life routine! I hate them! Specially the guy that is also living in the house where I'm staying. He always bully me, but I'm the girl who don't accept defeat. I will show him who's the real boss. I will show him who I really was, who I am when I'm on my limit. I will try my best to make everything on my terms just like before. No one can break me. Even that former soldier!

I really don't have a choice! My life is a mess. I can't do anything to change my life. I'm stuck being a drug pusher. I have to be careful because no one will save me when someone caught me and that will be my dead end. I just want to live in peace but I think this life is really destined to me. When I started learning on how to sell illegal drugs I became hopeless. But I'll considered the song there's a rainbow always after the rain. Someone hired me to be a nanny of triplets. I know that it's not an easy money job compared to my illegal job but, taking care of the triplets gives me the happiness that money can't give.

I give my everything! I don't know what is the reason why he still choose other girl over me. I always ask myself what else should I do so that he will choose me. But in the end he didn't appreciate my efforts. I hope and wished that he change his mind and choose me instead. I got sick. I can use it to blackmail him and to pity me and if that happen he'll go back to me. But I chose not to do that. I don't want to swallow the little pride that I still have. I'll just love myself because while I'm loving him, I forgot to love myself.

I grew up in a very open place. From my birth, to my childhood days, teenage days until now that I'm lady, almost everybody knows me. Who wouldn't? Since I was born up to now, my father is still writing his name in the history of our government. A politician. I know that I will never get out of the limelight so instead of running away from it, I embrace it. Maybe it really runs in the blood. I love the attention from my fans and my dad's supporters. But how far will I go? Where the limelight and popularity will bring me? Specially when my popular basketball player boyfriend put a shame not only to my name but also to the deepest part of me. My soul. He broke me million times and then he will fix me afterwards? He's impossible. So his love to me.