Holidays are here yet your parents are not quite present in your humble abode. Which leaves you to your home with a lot of boredom to murder- I mean, kill. This is all done because of one little trip to the basement. A companion that is on some occasions overly annoying. However, there is a threat to this: it's mother. Via collecting stuff for your collections, keeping your companion shut up and satisfied, shaking a flashlight and avoiding the mother at all costs, you survived. Or did you? Read more to find out!

* this is just gonna be crazy so prepare yourselves * "it's simple; he's lonely. he needs a friend. and i'm going to be his friend." "she came along, and then i wasn't afraid of losing them; i was afraid of losing her TO them." (((just a note: to all those asking if this is a joke, it was, originally. but I wrote it in such a way that it's hard to tell whether it's a joke or not. so it's up to you!! either way, I hope you enjoy because I worked hard on this!!))) edit: why the fuck did i write this edit 2: the ONLY reason i'm leaving this story up is because other people seem to like it. but reading it now makes me want to peel my own skin off. edit 3: i wrote this in middle school. i am now in university. and the comments just keep coming. something about this just. means a lot to me, despite the fact that this is a hot pile of steaming garbage. it's cute.

You can actually cook, good for you. Now you can cook in front of Gordon Ramsay. And now you're 27 with no say in this. --- You glanced over at the other contestants. They're all professionals. A sweat formed onto your face. As the food you have to cook was slowly revealed, you wondered about the challenge.

To satisfy your crippling depression! Idek anymore lol. These are also just funny stuff in general so please don't complain. These aren't my memes by the way so credit to the people who created them! ~PLEASE DON'T GET OFFENDED THESE AREN'T MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUS~ -Thank you~

when i saw her, it was easy to say... there was no bigger toddler. she was mine <3 this is a fucking joke

this got me put on @phlopcops on ig what the fuck no description needed im so sorry

Here you will find a vast collection of story type riddles. These stories are "scary when you know the meaning". Can you find the creepy hidden meaning in each one? welcome to the unknown...Detective. May the odds be ever in your favor. HAHAHAHAHA

A story in wich a high ranked demon accidently missed to kill one of his victims and things start to get weird. He doesn't know how to deal with that sort of things. - So, hi first of all. This is my first fanfic. I'll try to write as good as possible. I do not live in an English country, so I hope you don't mind some mistakes !!! I started this over a year ago so the writing is pretty shit but I swear it'll get better!!!

⚠This was written when I was a teenager. Excuse any errors, cringe and any shortcomings. ⚠ ---------------------------------------------------------- Y/N L/N, a bright young woman fresh out of university with a degree in engineering. A lady with an interesting past who has no time to look for some to love who will love her. Her parents, worried attempt to find her a suitor. They end up with many responses for all over but they all have one thing in common, they are all well-known killers. How will Y/N react to finding out that her parents ventured out looking for a future son in law, will she keep with the idea of being arranged in hopes to find love and if so who will she choose. ---------------------------------------------------------- Started- Feb 4th, 2018 Completed-July 6th, 2019

Donald Trump creates a wattpad account just in time for the wattys 2016, he decides he wants to win the wattys.... AND MAKE WATTPAD GREAT AGAIN. (With his small loan of a million dollars of course) highest known ranking: #140 in Humor