Lou Anne Duncan, 32, former pageant model, homecoming queen and divorce' is a part time manager at the local turkey and lunch-meat plant in her small town of Nowhere, Nebraska. After her divorce, in which her ex-husband Charlie Duncan leaves her financially decimated, Lou Anne loses it all and is forced to move into Feather Acres trailer park, which is ran by her Great-Aunt Jerry, an eccentric widow who dresses in her late husband's Vietnam era uniforms. She smokes cigars and polishes her pink flamingos and can be seen yelling at her poodles and conversing with ghosts. Lou Anne and Jerry are quickly caught up in a tale of international espionage when Lou Anne discovers a plot at the turkey plant to be carried out by Russian and Chinese sleeper agents to poison all the turkeys on Thanksgiving. If their plan is not thwarted, 85 percent of America is at risk of dying amidst their own hypocrisy and gluttony in a painful and agonizing organ-dissolving death. Only vegetarians and pescatarians will survive. Will they defeat evil and save their great country in time for dinner on Thanksgiving? Or will Operation Butterball destroy America like Uncle Chuck destroys all the stuffing and gravy before passing out on the couch watching football every single Turkey Day? Will the two poodles and the Shitzu ever stop shitting on Mrs. Bentley's lawn? Unloosen your belt and pass the stuffing.

The evolution of a non-evolution of a nun evolution.

"No, no! We just had a few, uh, difficult days, but the order has been restored," As the former promiscuous jazz nightclub singer was in her mid-sentence by bumbling as her lip curled, he cut her off curtly, coarsely. The heartbeats accelerated heavily by infecting with its frequency, double ounce in her chest. "Sister, I've contacted a colleague, Father Bernard, in Pittsburgh. He's just opened a home for wayward girls. I've recommended you highly to run it." At the moment, his hands were behind his lower back as the sister of the church's jaw constricted in an agape, being beyond unconditionally aghast by his decision and offer by working in one of the homes for wayward girls in Pittsburgh. Far away from Dr.Arden, one of her biggest foes. Far away from her mentor and mother figure, Mother Claudia. Far away from her protégé and favorite, once innocent and taintless nun, Sister Mary Eunice. Far away from her favorite priest, whom her damned feelings on him haven't pottered out even when the betrayal pierced as a honed dagger in her ribs, marvelous, thick waterfall of blood spurted from the fresh slit area. "Are you firing me?" The holy woman questioned timidly. Monsignor Timothy Howard announces Jude's formal abolition from Briarcliff, as a result of the offered position for her in Pittsburgh and his intentions of protecting her from the barbarous, former Nazi war criminal, known as the doctor of scientist, Dr.Arden and his abominations. Is the nun going to accept the offer? Is her life going to drastically change as soon as she's in Pittsburgh? { Warning: Sexual Content, Strong Language }

"Well, God knows and sees everything. He gives chances to everyone so that to accomplish happiness and find a path to the light." He paused as he looked down at her face as he was unable to resist her charm anymore, a colossal hand reaching up to her lukewarm, smooth cheek. She felt his softness, warmness beneath his palm, cupping her right one. "Everybody has sinned. God forgave them as he listened to their stories and questions, granting them the answers they're looking for. I would like to listen to your story. The story about the woman you were before the church and solemnly marrying herself to God." "Unfortunately, you will be pretty disappointed if you hear about this woman, named Judy Martin. You will be disgusted by this woman." Another Nunsignor short book where Timothy and Jude express their daredevil feelings for each other. Likewise, this book can be found in AO3 and FF.net under the same name.

Sister Jude is the head of Briarcliff Manor. What nobody knows is that, despite her vows, she has a secret crush on her Monsignor, Timothy Howard. This will be a collection of different storys. I will post several chapters for each story which could stand alone. There are just way too many situations for our nun and priest to get together and express their love for each other for the first time.