in which a guy calls a sex hotline just looking for a friend. ©iwearheelys, all rights reserved.

Falling for your step dad's brother can never be good. Dotty isn't your average girl, she's quirky, crazy and completely random. Her life is turned upside down when her very good looking, 21 year old step uncle moves in. At first she can't stand him but eventually he starts to grow on her. Ash was intrigued by Dotty's wild personality from the moment they first met, but with his dark past can he open up to her.

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer reviews? How many stars out of five?❞ ❝What are yo- oh my god, I'm going to fucking kill Marie.❞ (alternatively called: a lot of people shit with pens) written in dialogue // cover by xhemmingshugsx

"Your resume says your main achievement is... finishing a rubber before losing it because you are awesome." "Yep!" "Your personality type says you are... sassy, hot and cool (more than anyone here) at the same time because you are awesome? That's a challenge." He smirked as he raised his perfect eyebrow. I nodded dumbly. And then I heard him mumbling," Never knew a Smurfs' T shirt was that hot with red pants..." "Your special education says... you were in Hogwarts?" His eyes opened wide. "Yo!" "And your interests says you want to go home and watch Ironman because you didn't want to apply for this job anyway and you are forced..." "You got me right boy!" I pointed at him with my finger. But then he said the three words I never expected to hear. "You're hired, hobo."