They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

Zach Brewer has a plan. Win a state football championship, get recruited to a top college, and enjoy his senior year as much as possible. What he didn't count on is being up to his neck in debt. Being a member of an exclusive gambling ring has its perks, particularly the high stake tables, but getting shook down by two thugs has a way of ruining the appeal. Not sure what to do, he pleads with the one girl who could help. Riley Martinelli's life is simple. Attend school and help her brothers run their underground gambling club. The club is the only thing keeping her family out of bankruptcy since her dad got hurt. Faced with losing their house, her brothers are determined to collect every penny owed. When Zach, her long-time crush, asks for help, she desperately wants to give it but she can't do much without hurting her own family. As Zach and Riley navigate through peer pressure, family expectations and broken hearts, they must ask themselves an important question. How much are they willing to risk to get what they want?

EDITING IN PROGRESS.

It's still year three. My brother and dad, dead. So many of my friends, my family, dead. Our home, the prison, was destroyed by a mad man. So many have died, or vanished, with us never knowing what has come upon them. We escaped, but all of us parting our own way. I made it out alone, with my horse and dog. Later rescued by a girl, Missi, then reunited with my family. We all escaped the 'Sanctuary'. Well most of me anyways. My hand was decapitated, now covered with a white bandage. Now I can't use a gun, or my slingshot. But I still have my family. My best friend, Trigger, who will stand by my side, till the end. My uncle, my aunt, my friends. They're all I need. But I've now learned... My Daddy's not actually dead....

My name is Scout Sophia Dixon. I am 15 years of age, and have lost many people within this world. I live in a messed up world, overtaken by the dead. Finding my way through, I try to keep my head together, trying as desperately as I can to survive. Now a days, the only one you can trust is yourself. One day, I hope to find somewhere to belong to, for my family are all dead or missing. I will do what I can in order to get what I want, even if it means I have to kill.

In our society of geeks and fangirls, it is natural for us to quote our fandom, but when speaking these lines, it is significant to know when to use them casually. One does not simply just sputter a random line out of placement in the conversation. I, with this book, will help you. "I give you my word." - Thor Odinson (Thor 2011) See? I was able to promise to help you with that awesome Thor quote.