Bob has got to be the worst vampire in the world. Without a guide to learn how to be a good vampire, he's making it up as he goes along... while holding down a day job. [Previously Featured #2 Vampire ] ***** Everything I'm about to tell you is a lie. Well, except the parts that actually happened, but I'm supposed to let you guess which those are. The parts about me being a vampire, working at a porn shop, and being completely clueless about vampires, those are completely true. Oh, the parts about Claude, my best friend for life, being a gentleman thief? All true. This is NOT a misguided and sordid tell-all about being a modern-day vampire. (wink wink) My vampire club for accidental vampires, Friends of Vlad does not exist. Neither do vampires like the terrifying and beautiful Beatrice. There is no big bad vampire boss named Harry pushing vampires into the 21st Century. Also nope about the vampire club in the heart of Toronto and a big nope on Madame Vera's House of the Not-so-dead. I'm just an ordinary guy who became a vampire. Nothing unusual about that. Nothing at all... [BOOK ONE of CHASING THE SUN SERIES] REVIEWS: @DavidJThirteen Humour has to be one of the toughest genres to get right. This book really pulls it off. Thank you for an enjoyable, entertaining read! @SharylFriend This was awesome beyond mere words!!! Should be a BESTSELLER! @Signed_Sealed_96 This has been by far the best and funniest book I've read. I love this and I can't wait to tell my friends about this b'%&hing vampire story I read nonstop.

Lizzie always knew she was different, obsessed with video games and spending more time with boys. The other girls always teased her, but Lizzie didn't care. They were always starting things. Besides, she preferred the boys' company to theirs. She played online a lot. Maybe too much. Joel was your average guy. Attractive, flirty, into video games, the works. Not much went on in his life. He played Minecraft a lot more than he should have but that doesn't matter. Joel had a small YouTube channel with maybe a hundred subscribers, but loved each and every one of them to pieces. His best friend was online, though, so that made him slightly less cool. Oli was... Well, let's just say that Oli was far too good at faking a smile. He maybe had two friends. He was extremely unpopular and got bullied constantly, but that didn't mean anything right? It was all in good fun, right? That's what he told himself at least. As long as he had his PC, he'd be okay. Except, maybe he was wrong. Maybe he should let someone into his life. Callum was a very smiley, very happy person. He played games and had a tendency to make all of his friends and classmates laugh until they peed. He always brought the mood in the room up and was always putting others' feelings and needs before his own. The only person that he couldn't genuinely make smile or laugh was a boy named Oli. And Callum was determined to make Oli legitimately smile at least once. A/N: Hi, so I realized there were literally no SeaPeeSound fics and I almost cried. So here you go. Also, there weren't very many well-written Jizzie fics, so here's this. I love you guys and I hope you enjoy the story! Mwah!

WATTPAD ORIGINAL EDITION After a devastating accident, trapeze artist Corey Ryder gets stuck living a normal teenage life and attempts to reconnect with the mother she barely knows. ***** As a trapeze artist, Corey Ryder is used to flying high above the rest of the world, but when a tragic accident destroys the only home she's ever known, everything comes crumbling down around her. Forced to stay in the small town of Sherwood, California, she must face the realities of being a normal teenage girl. Attending high school, making friends, and falling in love for the first time are just the beginning, because being back in California means facing a large part of her past she's been trying hard to forget-her mom. Content and/or Trigger Warning: this story contains mentions of child/domestic abuse

❝I'm afraid I'm about as cool as a rubber duck...❞ ❝ So ridiculously cool then?❞ ▬▬▬▬ Quinton Granger was very much like his younger sister, Hermione Jean Granger, well known for his studious nature among peers. However, there was a significant difference between the two, unlike Hermione, Quinton didn't possess magic. He was a muggle. Arthur Weasley has always been fascinated by muggles and their lifestyle, so when he meets Quinton one year as the older brother drops Hermione off at King's Cross, the two strike up a conversation about the function of a rubber duck. The two became fast friends and Quinton becomes a regular at the Burrow whenever his sister is invited over. Ginny is trying to come to terms with her feelings over the Boy-Who-Lived, who doesn't pay her any sort of mind outside of being Ron's little sister. Hermione gives her the advice not to pine over Harry, that she should look at other boys, although when Hermione suggested it, she wasn't exactly suggesting her older brother. It started off as letters between the two while Ginny is at school and becomes something each time the two see each other again. Plot credits go to the amazing Pseudonymphadora ❤ [CREDIT TO JANICE SUNG FOR COVER ART] [WATTYS 2018 LONGLIST]

Lexie Greene has always had such a pretty face. Unfortunately, that's where it seemed to stop. She's grown up hearing her Mother constantly remind her that she needs to lose weight. And twenty-two-year-old Lexie knows she's overweight. With her younger sister's wedding on the horizon and a crush to stalk on Facebook, Lexie's had enough. She gives up her constant daydreams about food and joins a dieting group. As the pounds melt away at the gym, she finds that life on the other side of junk food isn't what she thought. Bon Bons to Yoga Pants is an inspirational hit about a girl coming to terms with herself, and her past, all while navigating a world of food and fitness.

Several millennia ago a war raged between the factions of dragonkind. With their world ravaged, the Kaldean Alliance forged the Amulet of Draconic Control and the Tethering Stone, and banished their foes to other realms, saving Kalda from utter destruction. Fearing the power of the Amulet, the survivors secreted it away. But now knowledge of the Amulet has resurfaced-and in the wrong hands, war could erupt anew. Long ago, men harnessed the Channels of Power, creating tevisrals-devices capable of manifesting magic. But men weren't the only ones to accomplish such feats. Dragons crafted the most sophisticated tevisrals. These shaped the world, defining civilization of man and elf alike. Over the centuries, the people of Kalda have fallen into a dark age, where elves are estranged from men and dragons have retreated into legend. Tevisrals are scarce and men are willing to trade everything for them. But there are some who wish to bury the past, and in their lands, possessing tevisrals is tantamount to treason. Still, daring men scour the world in search of Kalda's past. One such man, the scholar Krindal, seeks an ancient order known as the Keepers of Truth and Might. He yearns for their knowledge, long feared lost. Prince Kaescis Midivar also searches for these Keepers. The assassination of his uncle, the emperor of Mindolarn, killed his hopes of peace with his empire's enemies. His empire's survival hinges upon unearthing the Keepers' secrets. An aging warrior, Cornar Dol'shir, longs to be home with his wife. But his retirement must wait, as his band of adventurers is recruited to help find the Keepers' hidden temple on the Isle of Klindala. Haunted by his tragic past, Iltar, the Son of Adrin, does not join in the search for the Keepers. Instead, he seeks to unravel the mysteries held within a volume of prophecy foretelling the advent of the Unspoken One and the return of the Crimson Eye.

*★* WATTPAD FRIENDS AND FAMILY, WATTPAD FEATURED STORY & 2017 WATTYS WINNER!! *★* Preceded by rumors of their prophetic birth, pure-blood twins, Fred and George Weasley, follow in the footsteps of their three older brothers by attending a school for witchcraft and wizardry. All should be well...but from the moment they enter Hogwarts Castle, the identical boys are met with high expectations, troublesome situations, a mystery fifty years in the making, and their ever-imminent expulsion. Aided by two classmates and using their newfound aptitude toward mischief-making, the twins are compelled to resolve the mystery in order to avoid being ejected from the school and excluded from practicing magic for the rest of their lives. =================== :: #55 in Fanfiction (Highest) :: Updates for FRED AND GEORGE AND THE TOILERS OF TROUBLE: Every single day, unless I've lost my marbles or I bite the dust (or some other witty, fateful idiom), until Book 7 is complete. :: Spoilers, overt negativity/hostility, and self-promotion will be deleted. :: Expect Book 2 later this year! :: MCliffordAuthor on Twitter/Instagram/Snapchat/Facebook :: This transformative work of fiction (fan fiction) is based on the creations of series author, J.K. Rowling (JKR). Portions of the text were inspired by the writings of JKR, but much is original content by author, M. Clifford. The story is non-commercial, posted without authorization or permission from JKR, and is not in any way affiliated with the Harry Potter franchise. All original content is copyright M. Clifford, 2002.