this isnt for anyone else other than me, but if you find yourself here, feel free to read. maybe it'll help you like it will help me, hopefully. this is for my mental health and to express my feelings, if you don't want to know what I'm thinking, leave. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- -trigger warning, I talk about depression, suicide, etc.

After years away, Marley and Josh return to their hometown high school and fall in love. Can their relationship survive sex, lies and secrets from their past? ***** Forced out of boarding school after her mother's death, high school student Marley Thompson made a promise to never conform to the standards of others. Headed back home after a scandal in Australia, bad boy boxer Josh Baker returns to the same school. Sharing dark pasts and keeping their own secrets, Marley and Josh meet and find a connection they never thought they'd have. Still, Josh's friends and family try to end the relationship before it begins, and Josh has to move back to Australia after he graduates. Having been hurt before, will Marley and Josh let their relationship die? Or will they risk it all and fight for each other? Content and/or Trigger Warning: Sexual Content and Mature Language. [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]

At first glance, nobody would be able to tell that Nathaniel Jean had a problem. Or second glance, or third, or fourth. After all, he had everything. He was a captain of his school's soccer team and one of the top players in the state. He had a big house and money to spend. He had family, he had friends, he had fun, he had faith. He never meant for it to happen. He never wanted to look at another man in the way he should have been looking at a woman. The idea had disgusted him for most of his life - living in a heavily Catholic town with heavily Catholic parents, homophobia was the only response he knew. That didn't change when he first realized that he didn't like girls. No, Nathaniel Jean was still homophobic. He hated the idea of a man sleeping with another man. He was raised on the notion that all gays went to hell, and he believed it. He despised them, and so he despised himself. Nathaniel Jean was more fortunate than most, because help did arrive for him. Help by the name of Lucas Morgan, they boy he'd always known but never known. The boy with big dreams and bigger talent. The boy that changed Nathaniel's life over the course of their thirty-six week long senior year.