❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer reviews? How many stars out of five?❞ ❝What are yo- oh my god, I'm going to fucking kill Marie.❞ (alternatively called: a lot of people shit with pens) written in dialogue // cover by xhemmingshugsx

The tables are turned: having magically stopped aging in the 19th century, Lilly Linton is no longer the secretary slaving for cold, stone-faced business-magnate Rikkard Ambrose. Now, in the 21st century, the roles are reversed. In their fierce struggle for control, who will emerge on top? In this short story, everything about your favourite characters from Robert Thier’s story ‘Storm and Silence’ is turned on its head. A hilarious little trip into the madness of alternative realities.

Now available in paperback! "I LOVE IT!" - CarniaHolmes "I'm going to break your nose, because I don't like your face," Carter said. She pointed to Zac. "I'm going to dislocate your other shoulder, just to make them even." She cocked her head and gave the main guy a sickly sweet smile. "I'm going to break your wrist, taking away your baseball career. And finally you, Finch," she said, looking to the last guy. "I'm going to bust your ankle because I don't like the way you walk." She slid her hands into her pockets. "Now, how does that sound to all of you? And please feel free to look amused, skeptical or patronizing at this point. I'll have all the more fun wiping the expressions off your faces." Carter Owens, daughter of a Secret Service agent, is trained to disassemble any weapon, any situation, and anyone. Her biting sarcasm and razor-sharp mind make her impossible to beat in a word fight and when talking doesn't work, she uses her fists. She attends Hamilton Prep, Washington D.C.'s most prestigious high school, where everyone is related to someone in power, except her. When Hamilton Prep receives a flood of new students, Carter's role as social outcast changes when she makes two unexpected friends. Friends who are hiding a secret. As Carter uncovers the truth, she confronts challenges she is unequipped to handle and finds herself in a dangerous situation. For a girl trained to see everything, Carter never saw this coming. "This is one of those books that seem like it won't be really good, but then it's mindblowing-ly amazing and then you're questioning life =)" - rwrites07 "#rr for like the 10th time haha love this book" - tahls16 "I loved this book, it wasn't cringey cliche or stupid. I normally hate third person books but I loved this and all the characters, especially carter." - lenathedov Editor's Choice Talk of The Town #1 Teen Fiction, #1 Fiction #1 Love #1 Completed #1 New Adult #1 Friendship #1 Funny #1 Drama

She's a wild, free spirit who sees the good in everyone, and he's the hardened, bad-tempered loner who wants nothing to do with her-yet no matter how hard he tries to push her away, she's the one temptation he can't escape. *** He's never met someone with such a bubbly personality. Not to mention the wildness and odd phrases she says every five minutes. He hates it. He hates how he can't stay away from it. He hates what she does to him; it's not like him to chase after some girl. She gets under his skin like no other. She's never met someone with such a bad attitude. He's ill-mannered and menacing. The glare never seems to leave his face. Considering it all, she can't help but feel the attraction toward him. Dangerous attraction toward a seemingly dangerous man. Maybe it's the tattoos on his arm that gets her attention. Or maybe it's because she can tell there's hope for good under his rough exterior. And she's about to find it, whether he likes it or not. It's no secret that the two of them are complete and total opposites. *** "You like being called Sugar, don't you?" I tease, placing my toothbrush back after finishing. He does the same and gives me a side-eyed scowl. He grips my chin harshly and kisses me. My body temperature raises a good ten degrees and my right leg goes all wiggly. He pulls away. "You like it when I kiss you, don't you?" He teases the same way I did to him and I'm left blubbering. "I think both of our questions are rhetorical," I lower my voice up at him. His lip curls up into a smirk. *** #1 in Young Adult #9 in Badboy #1 in Cold #3 in Goodgirl #1 in Sweetheart #14 in Love *** *Warning* This story contains mature themes (language, scenes)

Summer Jacobs knew full well about her town’s tradition. Every year at the end of the summer, a party would be held on school grounds without the knowledge of the parents or the teachers. It had been happening since before Summer was born and never once was anyone the wiser. This year however, everyone was going to find out. Summer had planned a weekend of alcohol, bad decisions and horrendous photo’s which she would later un-tag herself from on Facebook. A whole weekend with her friends at the biggest party of the year, without any worries or parents telling her what to do. So how she ended up trapped in the school with a deranged psycho killing her classmates off one by one, she will never know. It wouldn’t have been as bad if she was trapped on her own. She would have been happier to face the lunatic solo rather than be trapped with a guy who kept using the life or death situation to make passes at her. His theory was being so close to death should definitely loosen her up, and by ‘loosen up’ he definitely meant ‘get naked.’ Along with his friends who between them had the IQ of a baby tree stump, an outcast who probably still had Spiderman bed sheets and the cheerleaders who were more worried about all the blood staining their new white jeans, they had to somehow make it out of there alive. And to think, Summer’s biggest worry that weekend was waking up with a brutal hangover… ©makeandoffer

first book in the Paperweight series. - ❝He thinks that if all that is wild and beautiful in the world wound up in one person, it would be her.❞

Some say she wore yellow to look on the bright side. Others say she wore it to avoid falling into her sister's shadow. Some say she simply just loved the attention it brought. Others say it was the pure act of anti-perfectionism rebellion. Mai just wanted to make an unwanted color feel loved. _____ Mai Greenely's world has been overturned. After drawing up on the shocking conclusion that absolutely no one she knew liked the color yellow, Mai decides to take matters into her own hands by doing what any rational 15 year old all American girl would do: dressing head to toe in yellow. It seemed like a straightforward plan, with a straightforward reasoning. Now, if only she could explain that to the new kid, Cameron Holland without him accusing her of kidnapping his dog again... [❊ ❊ ❊] A/N: This story is going to be pathetically innocent, so if you metaphorically vomit (or physically, you never know) at the idea of "sweet" then this story isn't for you. ADDITIONAL WARNING: It's kinda badly and immaturely written. Semi-unrealistic plot which develops ~better~ into the book. Cringey dialogue and I technically haven't even written the epilogue yet. So yeah. Good luck, you'll need it. [❊ ❊ ❊] [H.R.: #381 in Humor] Started: 27/08/15 Completed: 1/02/17 [Extra #2: TBD?]

"Whoa, Sawyer, your fucking pants are red, man." The color drained from my face and I tried to recall the last time I had my period. "Dude, are you bleeding from your dick? Should I call 911?" Fuck. •••• Being a girl is pretty hard. Being dared to disguise as a boy for a whole school year is even harder. Falling in love with a boy while being disguised as one is unbearable.

EMERSON SPARKE'S RULES ON HOW TO BE NORMAL: 1. Avoid having a secret alter ego to cover up the fact that everyone you used to know thinks you're dead 2. Don't accidentally blow up half your high school - being deemed a threat to society is all fun and games until you're sent to a secret boarding school for superhuman freaks 3. Under no circumstances should you be running into burning buildings. Repeatedly. On multiple occasions. Ever. [No. of Rules Unbroken: 0] (Perhaps, it was time to redefine 'normal' anyway) ━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 'FREAKS' - Book #1 in the Trilogy ━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Highest Rank: #1 in #projectsuper #1 in #projecthero #1 in #superhero #1 in #superpowers #1 in #fire #46 in Adventure #140 in Science Fiction

One thing, just one little thing Julie had to do to have a... Let's say decent... First day at her new school... Don't. Draw. Attention. First impressions mean everything. Just one little screw up and she knew that she would have to wish her junior year goodbye. So she decided to stick to this one grand rule that would ultimately determine her social life, reputation, and mentality. Survive through highschool. How hard can it be right? ... WRONG!!!! She was reading in her room when she just decided to take one... Little... HARMLESS glance outside of her new bedroom window. But all of a sudden... BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There stood a half naked, greek god bad boy right before her very own eyes!! So you may ask, what do you do in a situation like this? SIMPLE. You squat down in the middle of your bedroom floor... Because that's obviously not embarrassing... And start doing ninja rolls from one side of the room to the window curtains going COMPLETELY UNNOTICED. Well... That is until you bang your head against the wall after doing a total of SIX slightly slanted ninja rolls right in front of your friendly... Still without clothes... Abs are present... Somewhat very sexy... Abs are still present... Okay really good looking... ABS I REPEAT ABS ON SHOW... Hot, sexy, and did I mention ab-delicious Neighbor Or to be more specific... Ashton Rider. Say goodbye to an unnoticed school year, and hello to the bad boy's world. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Book one in the T.B.B.B. (The Bad Boy Boxer) Series WARNING: Lots of typing mistakes!!! Read at your own risk!! Editing will be taken place when I find motivation!!! (Heh... about that....)