~complete~ Charlotte is as sweet as a strawberry. She's the kind of person who will drop everything just to help you, just to put a smile on your face. She's as sweet as the sugar that constantly runs through her bloodstream, and as excitable as the rush that comes with it. And then there's Benjamin, who's as sour as a lemon. The last thing on this Godforsaken planet he wants to do is acquaint himself with her. While Charlotte is kind and caring, he's rude and vulgar, while she's friendly and innocent, he's crass and mean. So how in the hell is that going to turn out?

It started out as a game. She's everything a girl wants to be. He's everything a girl wants. As head cheerleader and quarterback, Kody Taylor and Austin Collins would normally be expected to be together with them being the schools Mr. and Ms. Perfect. Lucky for all the single boys and girls in their school, it'll never happen. They hate each other and they aren't afraid to show it. Not like it'll ruin their reputations anyway. If anything, it makes it better beacause people seem to enjoy the show. Will things change when they have to work together to keep their positions as head cheerleader and football captain? All their lives, everything between them has been just a competition. A challenge. A game. But what happens when it isn't just a game anymore?

after a prank gone terribly wrong, hayden jones is sent across country to caldwell academy, a school for the bitchy, the dangerous and the rebellious. and if that wasn't bad enough, it becomes much worse when hayden is accidentally put in the male dormitory, landing her in a room with the school's notorious heartbreaker, chase everett. [not edited...like at all]

Emma van der Bilt is clever, snarky, and spoiled rotten. William Knight is cocky, impatient, and slightly dimwitted. So how exactly did Will manage to kidnap Emma and her best friend twice and live to talk about it? *** "What the hell-" I screeched. "Good morning, sunshine." I looked up in alarm and saw the smirking face of my kidnapper. His face would have made me a lot angrier had it not been terribly swollen, thanks to yours truly. "I'd say good morning, but judging by the boner on your face, I'd say you weren't having such a good morning." His self-satisfied smirk fell almost instantly, and his partner-in-crime laughed out loud from the driver's seat. "Actually," he said, "I'm having a pretty good morning. My luck's about to change. You wanna know why?" I didn't answer. "I'll tell you why. I've successfully kidnapped the daughter of one of the richest men in the country." "Don't start counting your lucky stars just yet. This isn't over yet," I snapped. "Isn't it?" he asked, raising the eyebrow above his good eye. His other one remained in a permanent squint, and it made it kind of hard to take him seriously. "I'm not the one who's naked and tied up in a stranger's back seat." I glanced down at myself and noticed for the first time that I was in my bra and panties. Honestly, I was kind of relieved. When he'd said "naked," I'd assumed he meant birthday-suit naked, not half-naked. *** Warning: Rated PG-13 for sexual content and language. Mostly language. I have a colorful vocabulary.

The Dashwood brothers are three of the most charming boys anyone has ever met. After years away at boarding school, the boys are finally back in town and no one is as nervous as their childhood friend Clair Matthews. How will it feel to have the boys back? And what of Alek Dashwood's feelings? Are they still the same despite what they went through two years ago? "We were best friends, and the we were more... now we're back to the beginning." Originally published 2015 Edited 2019 Cover designed by @BeautyDoesntWither

After an amusing banter at the library with a mysterious guy, Savannah hopes that it's the last she'll see of the bickering boy. Come to find out, he's a new student at her school who just so happens to be a junior, much like Savannah. He feels the need to stick around her even though she is the target for childish rumors, gave him the wrong number purposely, has all the comebacks for his pickup lines, tried to run him over with her car, constantly embarrasses him, and repeatedly tells him to 'get lost' or 'shove off.' During their many adventures, not only do they get into many bad situations but they make a few enemies along the way. Will his determination to befriend this stubborn girl spark a friendship between the two or a special kind of hatred? <><><> WARNING: I wrote this story when I was fetus- even more fetus than I am now. I was thirteen and I finished it two or three weeks after I turned 14. That means that this story has grammatical errors. So please, read at your own risk. --- I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR THE PICTURE IN THE COVER. I SIMPLY SLAM DUNKED SOME WORDS ONTO IT. I DON'T OWN THE PICTURE. I SIMPLY FOUND IT ON APP.

Leah Preston was a normal 17 year old girl, until she wakes up and finds herself staring at her own lifeless body. She has no idea what happened to her or how she died, and the only person who can see her is her sworn enemy Jared. Neither of them have a choice, they must put their differences aside in order to find out what really happened to Leah and how she died, or better yet, who killed her, while at the same time fighting each other and the feelings they are beginning to develop. ©makeandoffer

Hadley Jamison doesn't know what to think when she hears that her classmate, Archer Morales, committed suicide. She didn't exactly know him, but that doesn't stop her from feeling like there was something she could have done to help him. So to Hadley's surprise, on the very night of Archer's funeral, she has a run in with Death himself and is offered the chance to go back in time to stop Archer from ending his life. The catch? She only has twenty-seven days to do it. And if Hadley doesn't succeed? Well, she doesn't want to think about that.

❝Hello, this is the Starb-❞ ❝HEEELP ME!! PLEASE! THERE'S A MURDERER IN MY HOUSE!❞ ❝OH SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!! WHAT DO I DO?! THIS IS STARBUCKS, NOT FREAKING 911. WAIT, HOLD ON. TRY TO KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE, I'LL CALL 911!! STAY CALM. IT'S GOING TO BE O- ❞ ❝Wait...did you just say Starbucks?❞ ❝Um...yeah?❞ ❝They have a hotline?❞ ---- fun conversations between two Potterheads over the Starbucks hotline. [highest rank: #6 in short story] [highest rank: #2 in short story 5/6/17]

They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)