'Pain isn't remotely kind in that way. Pain wants its promised pound of flesh, ounce for ounce. It won't settle until you're left with nothing but a flaky shell of who you were. The burn of betrayal and the sting of rejection hurt, but nothing compares to the pain of being empty. Nothing hurts worse than not hurting at all and it makes no sense and perfect sense at the same time and I'm convinced I'm going crazy and I'm actually okay with that.'

Just imagine having the love of your life with you. Thru thick and thin, making plans for the future and building a family. Yeah you smile and feel that warm and love building inside. Now to my world, where my heart was ripped from me and will never come back. Can't never kiss me or our girls ever again. Won't be able to see them grow up or get married. Ever imagined him being lowered into the ground while I held our triplets. I'll never forget his smell, his smile, or anything about him. Now I have to run his business and make it or risk all their lives after him. "I know nobody is as good as him but I must try. This is a crazy and dangerous game. A boss must move, think, eat, sleep and be a boss. At all times. Thats the only way to survive. There is no second options for me. This is my life. I have to live for my girls."-Dayci S. Smith