I always searched and searched . How much weight do you gain after a binge . What happens after a binge . Am I normal . Can I stop binging. But I never found the answers I was searching for , thus why I am writing this book . This is my story unfiltered..

Not all eating disorders cause you to lose weight. ~Fictional Diary Entries~ ©PaperLights

Stories and notes about how it feels to hate yourself. Depression is real. Sometimes its not easy to move on with a real smile and laugh. You believed her when she said she was tired, but she was cutting her wrist. When she said she was fine, but cried herself to sleep. You killed her when she said she was okay, and hung by the beautiful rope. Sometimes we die to end the pain, not the life.

"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.

this story is about a 14 year old girl named Athena that has the perfect life has the perfect family the perfect school perfect everything or so everyone thought. TRIGGER WARNING: suicidal thoughts, self harm, self hate, anorexia (sort of),sexual abuse, sexual harassment {wouldn't read this if you have some of these problems

*NOTE: Based off a song called Baby Don't Cute by B-Mike* Tamara never had a good life. She had friends and family who loved her dearly and plus a boyfriend but many people hated her guts. They wished her bad luck, they wanted her dead, called her names, bullied her and mocked her every move in life. If it wasn't for Myle always keeping a close eye on her, no one would of ever noticed the scars and how she fakes her happiness.

This is the story of a regular girl. The normal teenager, as some might say. But this story is about what lies beneath what people see. What goes on in her mind, her head, her brain. Her thoughts, raw emotions and her feelings. This is the story of a regular girl. This is the story of me.