"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

Greegs & Ladders is a wildly exciting tale of three oddball characters romping around space and time. Equal parts social satire and fun loving adventure, Greegs promises laughs, a few mildly intelligent and/or interesting observations, and several run-on sentences. You'll also get to find out what the hell Greegs are, and how life on Earth came to be, and the meaning of it all (at no extra charge.) Download the complete ebook for free, in many formats. I will be posting this story on Royal Road

I'm Delilah, and I'm nothing special. I'm just a typical teenage girl. There are many girls like me; I'm merely one in a million. His name was Ashton, and he was definitely something. He was the attractive, mysterious, brooding delinquent that all the girls were head-over-heels in love with, all of the girls except me. He was the typical "bad-boy" with an "aura of mystery" that I had read about in countless teen-romance novels, and I thought I had him figured out. I expected him to be like every other bad-boy that had ever existed, but I was wrong. Really, really wrong. Like I stated before: I'm nothing special. So why is it that the stupidly gorgeous, sickening irresistible Ashton decided to notice ME of all people?