❝So you like blood?❞ ❝No. I don't like blood. I like vegetables. Because I'm a vegetarian.❞ ❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄

A bunch of hilarious,pee your pants funny jokes in one place. Have a nice reading and Remember you can't spell swag without sw and ag!

"H-Huh?!" I screamed, clutching my towel tightly. "Y-Your the man I hit with my car earlier! How did you get in here?! I thought I locked all the doors and windows!" The same man from earlier, with jet black hair and glowing blue eyes, simply sat in my bathtub, completely naked might I add, and smirked at me with what one might describe as a confident and smug gaze. "You never told me what you wanted by the way." He snapped his fingers and a glass of wine suddenly appeared in his hand before I could even blink my eyes. "That's because I don't want anything! Now get out of my bathtub! No scratch that, get out of my house!" I could feel my cheeks burn as I backed away slightly. But before I could turn around and run out of my bathroom, he snapped his fingers and the door slammed closed. "Alright, if you aren't going to tell me what you want, then I shall tell you what I want." He stood up abruptly, and I could feel my eyes widen as I saw- [ Entire description in next chapter ;) ]

Newly Headgirl Hermione Granger returns to Hogwarts for her final year without Harry and Ron. She is eager for a stress free year but her happiness comes crashing down around her when Draco Malfoy is made Headboy. On the outside he still comes across as the same arrogant, cruel selfish person she knows all too well. However after a series of events where Draco saves her life and comforts her unexpectedly, Hermione realizes that he isn't the man she thinks he is. She knows he is tortured by painful memories from his past but he is determined to keep that hidden. As the unlikely pairings relationship develops, Hermione is unaware of the heartache, choices and new feelings she will come to discover. ******************************************************** DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the character's such as Hermione, Draco, Harry, Ginny, Ron etc as they all rightfully belong to the very talented JK Rowling. I am merely a huge HP fan who enjoys writing fanfic stories from my perspective. However, I AM responsible for the story-line s/character developments/scenario's etc that come with this book and I take any cases of copying very seriously.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" he asked, about to put on his shirt. "No! Um, I'm just wondering-" "Why I don't have my shirt on?" he finished for me. I nodded. "Well, it's blazing outside and the only way to cool down was to take off my shirt." "Then, why-" "Am I sitting with you?" It was as if he read my mind. I nodded again. "Well, you are a very beautiful woman and I thought that someone like you shouldn't sit alone." Whoa. Was this dude for real? "I-I don't even know your name," I stuttered. He chuckled. Oh gosh, that sounded hot. "Mitchell. And you?" "V-Vanessa." "Ah, a beautiful name for a beautiful woman." *Dedicated to all the curvy, voluptuous women out there. Remember, you're all beautiful <3  All Rights Reserved