Getting bitten by a vampire is something, but getting bitten by five hot vampire celebrities is something else. Amberia Purt is a 17 year old American Directioner. Just like every other directioner, she dreams to meet the five knights in shining armor of her life. Who could know taking a short bathroom break could change your life? *Dramatic gasp* This story should be categorized as vampire, werewolves, fan-fiction, teen-fiction, adventure, fantasy, humor, mystery/thriller, paranormal, & romance, but unfortunately, they only allow each story to be put in only 2 categories. [This story is UNEDITED, so please don't complain about errors, plot-holes, and etc. WARNING: It's also BATSHIT CRAZY HAHAHAHAHA.] [X] This is the ONE & ONLY One Direction Bit Me. I've seen so many imitations after this fanfic, and I want you all to know that this is the ORIGINAL. Thank you! :) -This story is completely HUMOROUS, so stop taking it so seriously.-

This fan fiction is hotter than 9,942 Fahrenheit, hot enough to overheat the sun. You should read it, it's sexier than a goose. Mmm.

I was on my way back from school. I'd missed the bus, and had to walk. As I was walking, I ran into a rock solid body. I look up to see a brown haired guy with amazing green eyes. After staring at him, like a stalker, than slap myself back to reality and say a quick sorry before walking away. "I need you to trust me. Meet me in the woods in an hour."  Well, this should be good. Read on, to find out what happens next. **~Peace~**SARA

"I don't give a fuck!--" The man named Mario stopped shouting after she escaped a loud fart around the cubicle. Their voices seeming to come to a halt from the horrendous distraction. Her beautifully scented fart rang across the room with different tones and decibels that embarrassed the dignity left in her. There was a cock of a gun with a British man's terrified voice pathetically begging for his mercy. "--About your reason! You--" Mario Kart continued. Fart, Came another one. She was sure she won't have the face nor the strength to come out of the cubicle after dumping her whole excreta inside an oddly small toilet. "Cazzo!" Mario Kart's best friend exasperated. "--Who even farts that loud? It smells horrible!" Luigi muttered out loud with a cough and the woman who made a dump could imagine that this person was pinching his nose in disgust. In her perspective, they sounded like they were both partners and brothers in crime. And she meant that in the literal way. ---- Tiffany Bay Garcia was just an innocent Janitress in a gas station, nature called and her rude stomach grumbled with the need to drop a stink pickle. She made a dump, little did she know that her life was about to take a dump too. The peaceful but difficult life that she once had will take a turn in the most mind-boggling way. Mario and Luigi? they weren't just brick wreckers and coin catchers, they were even death takers too. We didn't know that the smell of our own fart can serve as an invitation to hell, or rather an embarrassing invitation for two crazy bastards to enter your life.