"because as you know all too well, my dear phil, i sometimes want you to just drop dead." "ah, but you see, the feeling is mutual, howell." |serialkiller!phil x depressed!dan| |lowercase intended|

"i met him in march, and those were the warmest days of my life"

Dan Howell was the typical spoiled, rich boy with butlers driving him to operas and maids making him nachos for breakfast. Phil Lester, however, was the opposite. Barely any money and deadbeat parents, he lives in a bad neighborhood in a gross apartment with cat hair covering the carpet and an odd roommate. And then Dan's parents decide he needs to love someone rather than himself, and when Phil shows up at his mansion steps, Dan's parents grow fond of him- so much that the two are exchanging rings and Phil is moving in with his new spouse. They tell Dan he should give it a few months, to be patient, and if he still doesn't like him then they'll sign the divorce papers and call it quits. Marriage isn't perfect, right? Well this one is the exact example. But they could always pretend.

Patrick? More like Sasstrick, am I right?

phan // sugar and smoke rings, i've been a fool

phan // in which two boys who are definitely toxic for each other decide to not care

"I'm straight!" "The only straight you are is a straight up liar." {or the one featuring punk!phil and pastel!dan} STARTED - 07/02/17 COMPLETED - 29/10/17

A collection of oneshots written by yours truly ©nicosniners

When Josh and his family move to Hartgate, Colorado he learns that the town has its secrets. Without choice, he finds himself getting tangled up in every single of them and falling in love with a boy who seems to have more secrets than the town... ©nicosniners

:.gōketsu - (japanese) a great man; hero.: 2/2 in the :.schizoid.: series