Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter Harry is being badly abused at the Dursleys. Remus and Sirius come to save him. Harry is 5. FINISHED

After an outraged Professor McGonagall finds out that 3-year-old Harry Potter is being abused, she ignores Dumbledore's orders and adopts Harry as her own. Cover picture doesn't belong to me. All characters belong to J.K. Rowling

Summary: Harry is taken to an orphanage by the Dursleys the day after his is dropped off at their door. Harry becomes a master thief with his friend Seamus and they grow a reputation for doing the impossible. What happens when a wizard boy with the skills of a master thief has to defend the magic world against a Dark Lord. Probably try to make a profit in the mean time. I do not own this fanfiction. I got it off fanfiction.net by Dustedoffstories. P.s. I'll be updating as I read

Are you sitting on an airport bench? Or a cafe chair? Or on someone? Are you wearing a disguise to hide your identity because the authorities worldwide are trying to find you since you're involved in a major drug cartel? Are you procrastinating homeworks or chores or both right now? Are you an extra-terrestrial being who happened to take into possession an IPhone 6s? Or you just a bored human being with nothing really fun to do and is currently in Wattpad trying to find books worth giving a shit about? Well.. wherever, whoever, whatever, or whatever you've gotten yourself into right now, you better need to lighten up your mood and check out this unordinary joke book and clutch your pot belly 'cause you're gonna enjoy a laugh trip that could probably kill you due to short intake of breath caused by too much hilarity. So go ahead and click that orange "Read" button (and keep a nebulizer close with you). 99% NOT MINE 69% Clean (lol, no just kidding) 100% funny DISCLAIMER: Some of the jokes are not mine. Credits to the owners.

When Harry gets his inheritance in 8th year, he discoveres he inherits the titel 'King of Normandy'. And what happenes when his mates are the twins Fred and George? I do not own any of the characters or names, if you don't like it don't read it. No smut untill later.

What happens if Harry is so broken after Sirius's death that he gets whisked away to the Marauders era? What if Dumbledore is not as good as looks like?