"Smoking is bad, you know." The placid voice speaks up from the distant dark corner, nothing to see but a tall silhouette and an orange glow of a cigarette cherry. "It's the least of my problems," I murmur with my own between my lips, proceeding to feel the stagnant debris valley my throat when I suck delicately. He exhales a chuckle of cynical amusement, his footsteps getting every step clearer to my eardrums until I eventually sense body heat burning my back. "And why is that?" He whispers over my shoulder, hands inviting themselves to grip the railing in front of me so I become a prisoner between his inked arms. I swallow. "Because you'll be the one to kill me first." // Aven Brooks is hired to take pictures for the world-renown punk rock band known today as Duplicity; hoping the experience gets her into her most elite-dreamed university. However, when her lenses accidentally capture more than just cheeky sound checks and performances, she comes to a horrifying discovery that Duplicity is anything but a band. Appalled and frightened, she's trapped. *HIGHEST RANKINGS* #1 IN HARRYSTYLES #1 IN ONEDIRECTION ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO @happydays1d NOT ALLOWING TRANSLATIONS! CONTAINS VULGAR LANGUAGE / DRUG ABUSE / SEXUAL CONTENT / DESCRIPTIVE VIOLENCE / MENTAL HEALTH READ AT OWN RISK!

The love story of Donald trump and Shrek

Donald Trump is a vain, hateful piece of scum. But that doesn't mean he's incapable of feelings. And when he lays eyes on Hillary Clinton, he can't even imagine how traumatic life would be without her. Trump makes it his own personal mission to win the heart of the unattainable Hillary, while in the process, dominating the United States, and eventually, the world.

fEATURING THOMAS TEH TANK ENGINE AND sHREK V RELATABLE FOR BRITS

Angelina is a mouse. Thomas is a train. Can they ever be?

im doing this because im bored and lets be real here, we all stan this ship

In this 100% Family Friendly fanfic, Peppa pig and Dora The Explorer have grown up and now happen to be roommates at college. What could possibly happen when you throw these two together? Marriage. They get happily married. That's the story summarized. If you want the full story with more detail I encourage you to read the book. I hope you enjoy it. If you enjoyed it, send me a DM for a prize. (Historical fiction) Highest ranking: #1 in romance (don't look that up) #1 in bigshaq (omg yay, we've come so far y'all!) #232 in British #1 in bobthebuilder (Previously #2) #1 in Obama!!!! (Previously #9) #15 in donaldtrump #677 in car #49 in couples (that's not bad actually) What readers have to say: @Lemiliaz "Overall, a very swaggy book." @brrracketts "cute 〰️👄〰️" @Just_a_Stranger18 "This is the funniest thing I ever read lmao" Funny comments in this book out of context: @chalamet_loverr "yeah same I got my head cut off but I got a head transplant from a chimpanzee so I'm good now"

Not originally by me but inspired by a meme. My friend suggested I put it on here. Enjoy

the story of when the duolingo owl adopted you, written in shakespearean.

mmm yes daddy devito mmm yes shreky daddy