Bitch Humor Me
22 stories
Comeback Queen by tepigforlife
tepigforlife
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"I hate you." He scowled. "Well, I never said you had to like me, now did I?" I said sassily.He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms across his chest. "Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find your brain back there." He glared at me. "Shut up with your lame combacks, they suck!" "Your just mad cause you're getting roasted by a girl. What? Is your ego being damaged?" "I am no being roasted, you are! I'm a savage!" He said cockily. I slapped my forehead and let out a chuckle. "Last time I checked, you have not said anything close to make you a savage and you have not even roasted me. Dumb ass." "Oh yeah well, your a ugly! Beat that!" He smirked. Wow. Oh my gosh everyone, give him a round of applause for that AMAZING burn! Nothing can beat that! Hint, sarcasm. "Your brain must feel good as new, seeing as though you never use it. Also, that was the worst comback ever, I bet my mom can come up with something better then that." I crossed my arms over my chest and smirked at him. "Whatever." He grumbled and walked away scowling. That's right! I like to call myself the comback queen because I always have an answer for everything. Like if someone says to me: you suck I go: well you swallow. So do you catch my drift? Yes? No? Maybe so? **** Riley Greene, the daughter of Maya. Unlike her mother, she is not as bubbly and outgoing or as childish. She is more of a like, how do I say this, a sassy, savage, sarcastic girl with a temper. I'm pretty sure she can kick you but if she wanted to. But hey, she did get some things from her mom. She loves food as much as her mom and can devour her food like a savage she is. Asher Kings on the other hand, is a typical bad boy. You know, with those secrets and mysterious vibe, girls go chasing after him, big ego, you know??? Any way, he still is pretty scary if you get on his bad side an that exactly what Riley does. What do you think will happen when there paths cross? And more importantly...What will happen after?
A Bet With The Devils by Pam-The-Lamb
Pam-The-Lamb
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Highest-ranking in Humor; #1 "They all eventually end up falling" Alex adds and I smirk. "Not me" "Are you saying you're not going to fall for any of us?" Josh joins. "Yes" "We should make this interesting" Vinny talks "if you fall for one of us, we bang you" After her parents sent her out of state to finish her senior year of high school, Elliana finds herself living with the town's three biggest players, Vincent (Vinny) Halls the town's bad boy; Josh Summers the sexy genius; Alex Gordian the All-star athlete. Three Devils. One Girl. One Bet. And a prank war no one expected. After all, all is fair in love and war. Trailer by @WeAreYoungES: https://youtu.be/vk3Y74LLBQ0
Despicable Arrogance by istolethecookiez
istolethecookiez
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There are five things that I hate: 1.) Arrogant Guys 2.) Guys who have girls falling at their feet and they proceed to use them 3.) Guys who assume everyone loves them 4.) Guys who ride motorcycles 5.) Strawberry Ice Cream And Grayson Carter just so happens to be 4 of them. Even his name sounds like a celebrity's: Grayson Carter. The boy is everywhere; he lives down the street from me, he goes to my school, our mothers are even longtime friends yet he doesn't even know my name. The only place I can get away from him is my part time job at the library and the day he comes sauntering in looking for a job is the day I just might go insane. ROMANCE - TEEN FICTION - HUMOR Title Thanks To - factorfate --- --- I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR THE PICTURE IN THE COVER. I SIMPLY SLAM DUNKED SOME WORDS ONTO IT. I DON'T OWN THE PICTURE. I SIMPLY FOUND IT ONLINE.
The Bad Boy and My Cookie  by ElaBearXx
ElaBearXx
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❧♚☙ "Hey! That's my cookies you're stomping on!" My blue eyes meeting his dark blue ones. "What are you gonna do about it?" He taunted, his perfectly luscious lips smirking. "This!" I procedeed to kick him where the sun doesn't shine. ❧♚☙ ❁[HIGHEST RANK: #1 on TeenFiction-31/05/18 and #1 on Jokes - 22/08/20]❁
The BadBoy Broke My Window [Soon To Be Rewritten] by EJ_ThatsMe
EJ_ThatsMe
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Emilia Josephine was the typical shy girl at school, she changed. Emilia is not popular, she is pretty but no one can stand her. People say she's weird, a nerd and clearly a loner. She believes that having friends is a waste of her time since everyone are users, they always hurt you in the end. Her mother left their family business as a photographer with her while she went on a business trip. That is until the most unusualist thing happens to her, one night when she fell asleep she got woken up by the window cracking... Dylan Collins, is the badboy at 'West High'. He's popular, sexy, attractive and a player. All the girls love him. Dylan loves to party and gets into alot of fights. Nearly getting caught by the police that one night might have changed his life. What would you do if the BadBoy broke your window? Read to find out. [WARNING!!!! Contains Swearing!!!] © EJ_ThatsMe (2014) All Rights Reserved Warning!! This book needs major editing and is most definitely cringe worthy, I wrote this at a young age and reading back on it do realise how bad a lot of this book actually is.... so if you continue to read, please proceed with caution.
We Kidnapped A Psycho. (discontinued) by aeralust
aeralust
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'MAKING MY WAY DOWN TOWN, WALKING FAST, FACES PAST AND I'M HOME BOUND,' [Dadadadadadadundadadadadadadadadadadaun] 'STARING BLANKLY AHEAD, MAKING MY WAY, MAKING MY WAY THROUGH THE CROWD.' [Dadadadadadadundadadadadadadadadadadaun] 'DADADADADADADUN....AND I NEED YOU....DADADADADADADUN....AND I MISS YOU....DADADADADADADUN....AND NOW I WONDE-' 'Oh, my, god. Can you please shut the fuck up!' These are just many of the arguments you will hear in this book. The title say's it all. Noah Le Blanc, the most dangerous person in the world, make's the biggest mistake of his life when he orders his best friend Liam to kidnap someone innocent for 'Shits and Giggles' as Isabella says. So Liam picks a small girl in a hoodie. Isabella Jade. The craziest, Sarcastic, smartass, Badassed, sassiest and one of the most intelligent people anyone would ever get to meet. Did I say she was an absolute Psycho? 'Noah, Noah, Noah, Noah, Noa-' 'What do you want!' 'I had a dream that you were a duck last night.' Give it a shot
Welcome to Hell Boys ✔ by Nadineat2
Nadineat2
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Highest rank - #1 in humor 28/9/2017 [Book 1] Imagine this ~ You think that you are sleeping in your comfortable bed, next to your three-year-old brother, but then you open your eyes to see three good-looking guys staring at you. The worst part is that you are in a moving car, laying on their laps. ××××× Ariel O'Connor is a sassy, sarcastic, funny, caring, and confident 19-year-old. What will happen when she wakes up in the wrong place in an unusual situation? What will she do? Here's a tip: Watch your language, and do not eat her Oreos. #Book 2: You Are In Hell Boys #Book 3: We'll End up in Hell Boys ××××× DO NOT STEAL ANYTHING FROM THIS BOOK! All Rights Reserved 2017
I Am Living With an Idiot by BrightWhiteSnow
BrightWhiteSnow
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Vena Anderson, a nineteen year old girl has moved away from home to attend college. She has no desire to live in a small dorm room and having to live with a complete stranger, so living in an apartment for her college years is her next option. The only flaw in her plan is that she can't afford it without a roommate. Vena has lived in this apartment all through the past year and just as the new school year is right around the corner, the landlord decided that she would raise the rent. James Hendersom, a nineteen year old guy has been recently kicked out of his dorm for smoking cigarettes. He now has been living with his parents until he can find a place of his own. He has been searching and searching for the past week and could not find anything, until just a few days ago. James was looking through the ads, again and one popped out more then all the others sitting on that plain "Looking for roommate. Contact Vena Anderson for further information" *This Wattpad story is rated Mature for strong language and some sexuality* Book One of the 'I Am Living With An Idiot' series. This book is currently being edited and revised because in some aspects it is so horrible, so I am working on it!!
The Boy with the Violet Eyes by SarcasticallyWitty
SarcasticallyWitty
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{SPIN-OFF TO "THE GIRL IN THE HOODIE" | SECOND BOOK IN THE SERIES} {2018-2023} *~* "Thank you for quitting that disgusting couple moment before I had to interrupt." "Careful, I might start making out with him just to torture you some more." "I hate you." "I have no objections." "Oh, god, please don't. Let's just get back to the task on hand." We all turn back around but find the table empty. "What? Where the hell did they go?" We hear the clearing of a throat right next to us, at the end of the booth, opposite the window. "Uhh-no hablo inglés. Me llamo Pablo." "You bitch-" "Traitor-"
Crazy,Awkward,Sweet by RE_BellBooks
RE_BellBooks
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"I missed having a little cas in my life." He smirked, letting his eyes show a little life. It was a sight to see and no words could do it justice. "What's cas?" I frowned, confused. "It's who you are. Crazy, Awkward, and Sweet." After her mother takes a job out of the country, Matey Greer is sent to live with her estranged father and his new family. The wooded sleepy town of Palo Ville is a stark contrast to her fast life in Miami. But with a larger than life character like Matey - things will undoubtedly shake up. Follow Matey as she embarks on the cusp of something a little Crazy - 'Like kissing the scariest girl in school', a little Awkward - 'Like accidentally impersonating a doctor', and a little Sweet - 'Like falling for a guy who is seems wary of love.' ||BEST RANKING: #1 IN HUMOR|| ||BEST RANKING: #34 IN TEEN FICTION||