❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer reviews? How many stars out of five?❞ ❝What are yo- oh my god, I'm going to fucking kill Marie.❞ (alternatively called: a lot of people shit with pens) written in dialogue // cover by xhemmingshugsx

[Featured Story] Every year the most popular fraternity on campus: Alpha Sigma Phi host an auction. Since this tradition started back in the 90's, Alpha Sigma Phi has always managed to raise a hefty sum of money for charity. How you may ask? Two words: Hot boys. And this year, 4th year, Aaiden Airheart is being auctioned off as your personal "assistant" for one whole month. Sources says, the sky's the limit. In other words the unattainable, campus's heartthrob will do anything your heart desires. Starting bid? 100,000 dollars. To an average person, 100k may be considered "too much" but to students who attends Elite University, 100k is child's play. So what happens when every single female in sight goes crazy and starts a bidding war with one another just to win the body of Aaiden Airheart? A war that's what. So how in the world did I get dragged into the middle of this mess? Let alone win the auction? Highest ranking #6 Humor Featured Story 10/05/17