Morty shuddered as he put on his yellow shirt. Shrek was asleep. Morty quickly zipped up his fly, and then glanced at the portal gun on the table next to a pile of used shrek sized condoms and a half eaten eyeball jelly on toast. As Morty crept towards the portal gun, his bowels began to move. He whinced as he let out a tiny queef- "paaaaaaarp". Morty's eyes darted back to the bed. It was empty. Morty then felt a rush of hot air flow down his neck. The colour flushed from his face. "And just where d'ya think you're going?" Shrek spoke in a demanding tone. ***********************************************

After Y/N Black's mother was murdered along with the Potter's and her father was wrongfully sent to Azkaban, Y/N is sent to live with a muggle family who lived on none other than 3 Privet Drive. Best-friends to Lovers Harry Potter x Fem Reader. Uses harsh language. Includes violence (ex. Torture, and deaths) I do not own Harry Potter (LMAO duh) Follows a mixture of the book and movie plot Started: 02-23-21 Ongoing-

a working collection of harry james potter short scenarios. harry x reader. feel free to imagine these before you go to bed, at school, when you're bored, etc. ** mature stories EACH STORY HAS A NUMBER- this is what they mean 1- moments of innocence (flirting, sexual tension, nothing physical) 2- cute moments (a kiss, holding hands, etc) 3- more passionate (kissing, right before things go to level 4) 4- dirty (everything but sex) 5- very dirty (sex)

❝I want you for worse or for better. I would wait forever and ever...❞ Elizabeth Reething is a Ravenclaw: polite, intelligent, curious, and best friends with Draco Malfoy. She just so happens to be the target of Harry Potter's unconditional affection, an affection that pushes even her best attempts at being polite and friendly. Book cover template by @humaneity, based off of Shawn Mendes' "Handwritten" album cover.

Cassiopeia Nott, twin sister to Theodore Nott, finds herself in a messy situatuon after an accidental drunken hookup with a certain Gryffindor. The two know they are no good for each other, but how could they end it when their feelings for one another are only growing? As long as they don't break rule number 7 it'll all be ok...right? Starting in year 6 - Half Blood Prince RATED MATURE - Language, Mature themes