book TWO (READ BOOK ONE FIRST IF YOU HAVE NOT) I will fully admit this is a diary. There is no way I will fight it.I'm here to talk about my feelings, my thoughts, my crushes..And I'm totally okay with it. I have no shame at all.I'm okay with the fact that the cover is a bright purple with curly letters that read 'diary' I'm also okay with the fact that it lights up when you press a button.Its pretty god damn cool. But what has been lurking in my mind recently is a boy. a certain curly headed boy..I'm sure you know him, he knows the diary world quite well.. Matter of fact- I've read his diary. I only know a bit though, he hates my ex Amanda, he hates me, but adores me at the same time, hes highly afraid of michael clifford for some unknown reason... Oh, and, he'd do anything to date me. Fabulous..

Ashton is okay right now. He's always like this after a bad bout. He starts off saying that the world is his oyster and he loves everyone, but when the energy and fresh success fades, so does he. Luke knows. He knows about all of Ashton's problems. He knows about the time Ashton was bullied nearly to the brink, the family deaths and friend losses, and the ups and downs, the latter of which seem to be more common lately. It's been so easy lately for Ashton to slip after a joke gone wrong, or a jab on Twitter. Ashton always says he's sorry, repeating it again and again if only to convince himself. Luke knows he's sorry, knows that he can't help it. And he'll sit by the bathtub for hours, holding Ashton, to make sure that he knows someone loves him. None of the other boys know. Ashton couldn't bring himself to tell them and face their disapproving stares too, and he wouldn't let Luke tell them, so he's stuck in this half state of secrecy and confession to Luke. Ashton hasn't gone too far yet, not far enough that Luke can't patch him up with gauze, antibiotics, and a long hug. But someday, someday, Luke knows Ashton won't be able to take it anymore, and Ashton will die. And Luke will be all alone.

"Fat fat fat," Luke clawed at his body. "All I am, is fat." - Luke Hemmings is ugly. Luke Hemmings is fat. Luke Hemmings likes to puke. Luke Hemmings despised eating. Luke Hemmings is every negative comment made about him. Luke Hemmings is gay. Luke Hemmings is pretending. Luke Hemmings is damaged goods. Ashton Irwin is hot. Ashton Irwin is skinny. Ashton Irwin loves to eat. Ashton Irwin is smart. Ashton Irwin is amazing. Ashton Irwin is everything Luke needs. Ashton Irwin is gay. Ashton Irwin is pretending. Ashton Irwin is noticing. Ashton Irwin is falling in love.

Ashton is tired of being ignored by his boyfriend Luke. When he gets bored he decides to seduce Luke. The only thing is that they can't get caught by their other band mates, Michael and Calum, who don't know about their relationship. What would happen if they were caught? Would Michael and Calum tease them or would they hate them for it?

"...you were just a teacher and you meant nothing to me..." The only time Luke took medicine was to try to kill himself. The only time Ashton takes medicine is when he's sick and to make himself happy every morning. (Warning: Mentions of past self harm, drug use, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and heavy swearing.)

book ONE This isn't a diary. It's a journal. Only girls do "Diarys". I'm a boy so technically its a journal. Does the name "Journal" go with a book that has a pink cover with purple fuzz lining it? I mean, I could easily cross out the curly words that light up when you press a button that read 'Diary'. All I have to say is thanks Calum for picking me out such a fantastic journal.

"Who are you?" All Rights Reserved.© WriteDrunk 2014. Completed.

Ashton, the nerd. Also known as f****t, gay, stupid, fatass you name it. He thinks he's worthless. And he knows he is. He's constantly getting bullied. He has scars everywhere. And they keep getting worse. Until one day, a jock named Luke Hemmings saves his life. But will Ashton accept his friendship? WARNING: May include triggering and things which you should be older than 13 to read, such as, self-harm, and a bit of anorexia.