Unlimited funny jokes guaranteed to make your day! Credits to whoever made these jokes.

"Get your hands off her. Or I will smear your fucking insides on these very walls" his eyes no longer shon the bright brown it always did. They no longer looked loving and amused like they were a few hours ago, they looked dead; his eyes were dead and his soul was too. He told me I shouldn't know what he was because If I knew I would run and the truth was he was right, I wanted to run as far away from here as possible. His fists clenched, his muscles tensed and his body shook to the point I knew he would lose his sanity if the man behind me was to say anything back to him. "Let me go or he'll kill you!" I hissed at the man behind me but he blanked me. "You're a mutt" he snapped and squeezed my breast which made me whimper "She is mine" That's when he lost his last bit of sanity. • • • #Book3 third and final book in the eternal series

Brielle Newman A 21-year-old girl who was struggling to make life comfortable for herself and her niece, Delilah. Her sister left the baby the minute she could get up and leave the hospital. Brielle hasn't seen her since. She also hasn't seen her parents who walked out on her at 17 or her brother who went to the army and hasn't contacted her for 9 months in counting. Being all by herself she's desperately trying to give Delilah a life she never got to experience. Killian Russell A 24-year-old ruthless CEO who doesn't tolerate negligence or stupidity. He wouldn't blink an eye before firing someone who worked for him for years. Make one mistake and you're done. His parents were extremely proud of his success. He never had a stable relationship. He was once a hit it and quit it guy but now he just lays low as most women throw themselves at him just for his money. Being the richest man in the northeast and second richest in the country he has no time for love. When he finds little Delilah ordering a coffee, he follows her out. She takes him to Brielle, who instantly made something click in Killian, changing their lives forever. Disclaimer: This book is more so about fluff, comedy, and drama (I wrote it as a literal teenager). If you are looking for a bit more ✨spice✨, check out the other books within the Discretion Series. WARNING: THIS BOOK CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT AND EXPLICIT LANGUAGE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. IF YOU ARE NOT A FAN OF CONTROLLING MEN AND A SEMI-SUBMISSIVE FEMALE LEAD, THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR YOU! I REPEAT, PLEASE DO NOT ENTER THIS BOOK WITH THE INTENTION OF ALREADY NOT LIKING IT AND LEAVING HATE COMMENTS. #2 in Romance - 04/17/18

With Alyssa stuck behind enemy lines and the fate of the pack hanging, tensions are higher than ever in this final installment of the Fatal Trilogy. ***** Book 3 begins right where Book 2 left off, with Alyssa captured and brought to the top pack's lair in Montreal. Unsure of Daimon and the rest of the pack's fate, Aly has no choice but to start finding ways to free herself and her baby from the grasps of the top pack and their leader, Pablo. Meanwhile, what's left of Daimon's pack scrambles to come up with a plan to rescue their girl and take down the top pack for good. Content and/or trigger warning: This story contains scenes of violence and sexual activity, and mentions rape and sexual abuse, which may be triggering for some readers. [[word count: 150,000-200,000 words]] Cover designed by Ren T

Sebastian Black was the number one most feared mafia leader in the streets of LA. At the age of 25 he runs the city and police department. He gets what he wants, always feared, and will never know the true feeling of Love. Never has , Never will.... Never say Never Jezzabelle Johnson is a young, kind, and innocent 17 year old. Her father is the gang leader of a big and scary crew in Chicago. Ben Johnson (Jezzabelles Father) ends up going to meet up with a few other gangs in LA for business when something else happens. Business wasn't the only thing going down in LA when Jezzabelle wanders off into the dangerous streets of LA by herself. What happens when the most feared mafia leader ends up taking a liking of the girl that was too innocent for his liking? What happens when he sets his eyes upon something he desires just by a little glance? "I want her...."" "I need her...." "She's Mine!!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Highest Ranking: #42 in Fanfiction :) 7/16/17 Highest Ranking: #22 in Romance :) 7/4/17

Well its accally about a tv show for kids called "paw patrol" but oh whale 🤷🏼 (dont juge me) anyways its about two pups that i find so cute together there's names r chase a police German Shepherd dog and skye a brave cute pup :) . It's talks about to pups argument that made them fall in love u will understand more when u get to read it well enjoy:).

Lily Crawford was once loved and treasured by her whole pack but that stopped on her 14th birthday when she didn't shift like she was supposed to. Instantly she became an outsider, a slave, a stranger in her own pack. She gave up on having a mate and being loved from anyone other than her brother. That all changed when an Alpha from a neighborhood pack visited her pack and uttered the word she thought she'd never hear "Mate". -- He locked the door behind us, pressing me against its hard surface. "Mine" He growled pressing his face against my neck, breathing in my scent. "Stop that" I yelled, tears streaming down my face. I tried to push him away from me but he didn't budge. "Just reject me already". "I won't reject you" His voice was low and dangerous. Was he worse than I thought? He will actually make me think he wanted me and then break my heart into a tiny million pieces. "Well then I will. I, Lily Crawford reject you Logan Wa-" Before I could finish he slammed me harder against the wall and covered my mouth with his hand. "Don't you fucking dare" He yelled punching the door beside my face. I flinched back but that didn't stop him. "I am your mate and whether you like or not you are now mine. And mine means, no one touches you, no one talks to you and no one fucking looks at you" He yelled again. Moon goddess, please help me.

“Fuck,” I whisper, shutting my eyes and clunking my head to the door. “Where were you going, Scar?” Ace breathes, smirking like he’s been dying to do this all morning. Might as well not lie. “I was going to hot wire your car and drive back to California, grab all my cash, fly to Europe, live there for a couple weeks, and then drink myself to death.” His smirk drops. “That’s not funny.” “Never said it was.” A quiet moment drifts through as I lazily stare at him. “You’re serious?” “Yep.” Scarlett Hunter is only 19 and has already killed 65 vampires. It's drilled into her mind that vampires are bad, and they always will be. That is, until Ace Caplin decides to enter her world via her kitchen.