CURRENTLY BEING RE-WRITTEN AS PART OF THE "HOW NOT TO VAMPIRE" SERIES) It's the week from Hell as Bob tries to save his ex-girlfriend Jaime from certain death... by turning her into a vampire. Needless to say, she doesn't quite agree with this plan and what follows is an epic journey in the making as Bob and Jaime try to track down the one vampire who might know how to turn Jaime back into a human. Oh yeah, and Bob's sometime-stalker-ex-girlfriend Beatrice is trying to kill them. Book 1: SO I MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE Book 2: SO I'M A VAMPIRE... NOW WHAT? Book 3: SO YOU USED TO BE HUMAN Book 4: SO YOU WANT TO KILL A VAMPIRE (now in drafts to return in Fall 2019?) Wattpad original: SO YOU MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE (799K reads, featured, #2 in Humor) ########## This was originally Book 2 of the series, but it's now Book 3 since SO I'M A VAMPIRE... NOW WHAT has been created to be Book 2. We've done a bit of editing and SO YOU MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE is now two books instead of one. Unfortunately, this means that Book 3 (this one) is finished before Book 2. So if you;re confused, sorry. If you're willing to wait a year and read the new book 2 first as it comes out on Wattled, then kudos to you, but to be honest, this book is awesome, so go ahead and read it now. Or not. Entirely up to you. Hilarity? Hell yes. Vulgar humour and excessive use of all examples of vulgar language that Bob can think up? You got it!

Bob has got to be the worst vampire in the world. Without a guide to learn how to be a good vampire, he's making it up as he goes along... while holding down a day job. [Previously Featured #2 Vampire ] ***** Everything I'm about to tell you is a lie. Well, except the parts that actually happened, but I'm supposed to let you guess which those are. The parts about me being a vampire, working at a porn shop, and being completely clueless about vampires, those are completely true. Oh, the parts about Claude, my best friend for life, being a gentleman thief? All true. This is NOT a misguided and sordid tell-all about being a modern-day vampire. (wink wink) My vampire club for accidental vampires, Friends of Vlad does not exist. Neither do vampires like the terrifying and beautiful Beatrice. There is no big bad vampire boss named Harry pushing vampires into the 21st Century. Also nope about the vampire club in the heart of Toronto and a big nope on Madame Vera's House of the Not-so-dead. I'm just an ordinary guy who became a vampire. Nothing unusual about that. Nothing at all... [BOOK ONE of CHASING THE SUN SERIES] REVIEWS: @DavidJThirteen Humour has to be one of the toughest genres to get right. This book really pulls it off. Thank you for an enjoyable, entertaining read! @SharylFriend This was awesome beyond mere words!!! Should be a BESTSELLER! @Signed_Sealed_96 This has been by far the best and funniest book I've read. I love this and I can't wait to tell my friends about this b'%&hing vampire story I read nonstop.