They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

Stereotypes. I hate them. On my first day at my new school, a girl in a blue and white cheerleader's uniform told me I 'looked like a cheerleader' and asked me to come to tryouts. I almost decked her. Blonde hair and blue eyes do not a cheerleader make. Cheerleaders can be bitchy and mean but they can also act all happy and excited and they can drool and swoon over Finn Wallace – the hands-down hottest guy in school – like there's no tomorrow. Me? Well, I'm just bitchy and mean. So someone please tell me why Finn Wallace is suddenly chasing after me? *This is NOT a Bridgit Mendler fan fiction* Copyright © 2013 CrayonChomper

~complete~ Charlotte is as sweet as a strawberry. She's the kind of person who will drop everything just to help you, just to put a smile on your face. She's as sweet as the sugar that constantly runs through her bloodstream, and as excitable as the rush that comes with it. And then there's Benjamin, who's as sour as a lemon. The last thing on this Godforsaken planet he wants to do is acquaint himself with her. While Charlotte is kind and caring, he's rude and vulgar, while she's friendly and innocent, he's crass and mean. So how in the hell is that going to turn out?