Unlimited funny jokes guaranteed to make your day! Credits to whoever made these jokes.

"Is this...the...suicide hotline?" "I...um, yes?" "...Are you asking or telling?" "...Telling?" "What would you do if I told you I wanted to die?" "I would beg you not to." "Would you, stranger? Would you really?" "I would." Aurora Glass was raised in a sleepy town, completely sheltered from the darker things in life. That's why she doesn't know how to react when she gets a call from a man looking for a suicide hotline. Out of fear he'll actually commit suicide if he doesn't get help immediately, she lies and pretends to be a hotline worker. Parker Hollowell is on the edge. He's slipping into the void, but unlike some he's aware of it. In a desperate attempt to save his own life, he calls a suicide hotline. The woman on other end sounds very sketchy and suspiciously young. Not that it matters. He's just glad someone pretends to care about his life and his problems. When a cynical, depressed man unintentionally lets a bubbly, optimistic woman into his life, he has no choice but to bend to her will and see that maybe, there was more to life then he thought. Copyright @ ItsAllAsh Started: May 2018 Ended: ???

"Aurel?" "I told you I'm not a girl" "Well, since I haven't seen you, your sexuality is not confirmed" "You want me to send you a pic of my penis?" "tempting but no" #1 in short story [7/22/16] Book Two From Texts and Calls Series © Copyrights Reserved This book was edited by @LunaValdez24

❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer reviews? How many stars out of five?❞ ❝What are yo- oh my god, I'm going to fucking kill Marie.❞ (alternatively called: a lot of people shit with pens) written in dialogue // cover by xhemmingshugsx

After an amusing banter at the library with a mysterious guy, Savannah hopes that it's the last she'll see of the bickering boy. Come to find out, he's a new student at her school who just so happens to be a junior, much like Savannah. He feels the need to stick around her even though she is the target for childish rumors, gave him the wrong number purposely, has all the comebacks for his pickup lines, tried to run him over with her car, constantly embarrasses him, and repeatedly tells him to 'get lost' or 'shove off.' During their many adventures, not only do they get into many bad situations but they make a few enemies along the way. Will his determination to befriend this stubborn girl spark a friendship between the two or a special kind of hatred? <><><> WARNING: I wrote this story when I was fetus- even more fetus than I am now. I was thirteen and I finished it two or three weeks after I turned 14. That means that this story has grammatical errors. So please, read at your own risk. --- I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR THE PICTURE IN THE COVER. I SIMPLY SLAM DUNKED SOME WORDS ONTO IT. I DON'T OWN THE PICTURE. I SIMPLY FOUND IT ON APP.

Bree Portman has a rather unusual job. She is paid to kill people, and her next target is the one and only Elijah Lancaster - her ex-best friend. He is known to be a man whore, and it seems that he 'accidentally' slept with a married woman. Now, someone wants him dead, and she has to get rid of him. Elijah is always surrounded by people, particularly of the female gender, and Bree figures that the best way to kill him without causing a scene, is by getting close to him again. Maybe that wasn't her best decision...