Bree Portman has a rather unusual job. She is paid to kill people, and her next target is the one and only Elijah Lancaster - her ex-best friend. He is known to be a man whore, and it seems that he 'accidentally' slept with a married woman. Now, someone wants him dead, and she has to get rid of him. Elijah is always surrounded by people, particularly of the female gender, and Bree figures that the best way to kill him without causing a scene, is by getting close to him again. Maybe that wasn't her best decision...

Well, if you couldn't tell from the title, this is some random jokes, riddles and some tricky questions, hope you like it!

Laughter is the best medicine for all! So come on in and laugh out loud. Here are bunch of funny texts that I found on the internet that are just too nut-cracking that I needed to share them all with you! Enjoy! #878 in Humor Credits go to the original owners.

Life has hit Black Love hard; professionally and personally. After losing his present girlfriend in an attempt to save a former girlfriend the District Attorney turned amateur sleuth returns from Danville, IL to his home in Chicago and finds himself conflicted with being the District Attorney, at a crossroads in life he resigns and meets Trigger Brown a new flame. It doesn't take long before he finds himself embarking on his next mystery. As a favor to Trigger he agrees to help Bunchy Edwards' a missing person's detective, whose own daughter has gone missing. Making his way through the city looking for one missing girl he quickly finds out it's an epidemic, teenage girls are coming up missing on Chicago's Southside, and no one seems to notice or care. To make matters worse the more he digs to get to the truth the more he finds that certain city officials will do anything to keep it buried. With little clues to go on and parents that seem to be hiding secrets he finds himself caught in a web of conspiracy, deceit, and murder. Black races against the clock to find the girl and bring her abductor to justice. Will he find her before the unthinkable happens? Or will she join the list of lost souls?

Ross and Rachel are my parents, I'm 18 years old and I'm starting to discover some secrets about my family before and after I was born. Remember: I do not own Friends or any of the characters. Based on the american sitcom Friends

"What are you hiding?" Emma has no family. That's why she's being adopted. "Nothing." She is a beautiful child, a perfect child. How could anybody not want her? "What have you done?" Because there's nothing wrong with her, surely. Or at least that's what you keep telling yourself. "It's just easier if I don't tell you... And you'll do what I say or else you'll get hurt." And she's only a child. Only a seven-year-old child. So, she's not going to do anything seriously bad. Of course she isn't.

"Emma!" He yelled running to me. "I couldn't see him, the tears were blocking all my vision". I felt his arms wrap around me and pick me up, "I promise I'll never leave you." He said.

What if Harry's parent's didn't die? And what if Harry had a younger sister?!? Follow Emma potter throughout her life at Hogwarts in Emma Potter. Cover By: @hermione96

Tom Felton & Emma Watson : True Story

DISCLAIMER: This story is completed, however it is unedited. I wrote this story when I was very young, and it is reflected in the work. If you are looking for the edited version of Love, Emma as seen on my Instagram or Facebook, this is NOT it. . . . . . . . . . . "E-Emma? It's okay y-you know. I-I'm used to i-i-it." "You shouldn't have to be, some people disgust me, the nerve of them." "I can't blame t-t-th-them, I m-mean l-l-l-look at m-me." He sounds so defeated, even though I can tell he's trying to hide it, so hurt and broken and utterly defeated. And that, to me, is absolutely heartbreaking. Whipping around, he bumps into me, clearly not expecting my abrupt stop. "I am looking at you, and you're beautiful Nathan Walker, beautiful." There's tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat the size of a basketball, and my eyes are burning, and my heart hurts but it's so fast, pounding a beat against my chest---because he should know. People like Nathan deserve to be told how unequivocally, unconditionally, completely beautiful they are. . . . . . . . . . . Emma Dawn is a sixteen year old girl in the big city of Toronto who befriends her school's social pariah, Nathan Walker. Outcast for his looks, Nathan's a very quiet, very gentle, giant, but everything's not that simple; the tough guy one might assume him to be is nothing like what he actually is, not with his stutter, continuous insecurities, and his social anxiety. While their friendship develops, both at school and at his families Italian-style Cafe, Emma slowly starts to tear down his walls, finding herself deeply caring for the boy she finds behind them---a boy so caught up in his life's worth of ridicule, he has no idea of how beautiful he is. Read on into the story of Emma and Nathan, where she helps him come to terms with his anxiety, breaks his insecurities, and every other social standard set to define something beautiful. . . . . . . . . . .