nir·va·na a state of perfect happiness; an ideal or idyllic place. where we see what happens when an emptiness that one thought could never be filled is overflowing. when two lost souls find each other. where a broken record plays a perfect harmony. when after years of searching, you find nirvana.

Work #1| Ryan was a photographer trying to perfect her craft and after landing a job at Kofi Siriboe's company, she could be taken seriously. That was until Kofi and Ryan started to think of each other in more ways than just work. Will they learn to communicate in order to overcome the challenges that could one day tear them apart? Credit to @crownedincurls for making my cover ❤️ *July 2019 - March 2020*

"Montana, come here." He nodded his head toward the door, leaving out of the room. Staying silent as Ms. Carol looked at me, I kissed the back of Josiah's hand before leaving out of the room. As I walked out, Messiah stood there looking at me in disgust while I closed the door. "What are you doing that shit for?" "Huh?" I said since I had nothing else to say, just trying to stall time to get my words together. "Why are you stripping, Monty?" Sighing, I decided that I wasn't going to lie like I'd originally planned to do after listening to Chocolate's stupid advice. "Money." I spoke simply and he scoffed as I looked down. "Why not just ask Josiah for money instead doing hoe shit?" "First of all, It's not doing hoe shit. I don't have sex with anyone. I just dance. And I don't want to ask him for any money. It's not his job to take care of me." "So stripping..." He trailed off with a laugh. "..stripping was the last resort? Instead of putting your pride aside?" Saying nothing, I just looked at him with pleading eyes. "Please don't tell him, Messiah." I could already tell by the look on his face that he was going to tell him. "I ain't gon' tell him.." Thank God. I thought. "..you are." "What?!" I shrieked. "No. I'm not." "You are." He spoke in a demanding tone. "Please. You know how he is." I expressed "And you know how he is too but you made that bed." "Messiah, he's going to kill me." I begged. "I know." He shook his head, walking away from me. "Better figure it out. You got until the end of the day to tell him or I will." He mumbled before walking back into the room.

"You no tell this girl that I said, I want no relations with a darkie?" She spat to me, making my eyes go wide. What? I thought to myself and Gio tried pulling me away but I snatched away from him, knowing I heard right this time. "Wait, what?" I spoke out loud and Gi grabbed me roughly, trying to pull me away again. "Why you saying these things? She's beautiful." I heard his abuelita sticking up for me as she stood to her feet and all the guys began to as well, telling their mom that she was wrong for what she was doing. "That puta heard me." She spat, pointing her finger at me. "You're too dark." She held up a brown paper bag that she was drinking her beer out of. "You no match this bag or lighter, you're too dark." "You look too much like his father. I no want you around me." She shooed me off, instantly breaking my heart into a billion pieces as I looked up at Giovanni who was looking down at me with hurt in his eyes. "Baby, please." He begged and I shook my head at him in disgust before putting my attention back onto her. "Get that darkness out of here, Giovanni. She's a demon." "Only demons have her color." She kept on going and I felt sick to my stomach in this moment as I stood there in complete shock.

"Hello, Sincere. How are you feeling today?" "Same as everyday, can't sleep, can't eat.." I trailed off, looking down at Sinclair who had a perfect mixture of both V and I. "That's not good." She said and I shrugged. "None of this is." I said and she nodded understandingly. "Have faith." She said, placing her hand on my shoulder and I nodded. I tried hard to keep the tears in because I had to be strong for everybody. The family was really going through it and I just wanted her back in my arms. V had my heart and if I lost her for good, I'd never look for love again. The doctor walked out as I sat there quietly and Clair looked over my face while she made spit bubbles. I bit my bottom lip, holding back tears as I looked at V laying there with tubes in her. Not able to hold on any longer, I broke down. "Baybeh, I need you..." I trailed off, shaking my head. "I need you so bad, I can't do this shit. I can't do life with you." I explained, looking down at the floor. "We need you, ma." My voice cracked, looking over to Sinclair who was still looking up at me. "Our baybeh girl is so beautiful, ma. I want you to see her, I want you to see her grow up. I want you to be here with us.." I trailed off, collecting my words. I wiped my face as more tears poured down and I shook my head, sighing deeply. "Wake up, baybeh." I spoke, breaking down as I bit my bottom lip.

"Cain, if you can't leave the streets for me and our baby, then me and you, we're done." I pointed between the two of us as tears streamed down my face and he bit his lip, looking down at the floor before he looked back up into my eyes. "Aight." "Shit over then, babygirl."

"Sometimes the strongest among us are the ones who smile through silent pain, cry behind closed doors, and fight battles no one knows about." Book 1 | NEEDS MAJOR EDITING!! *Second Author And Book To Use Main Character On Wattpad Ever‼️

Works #1: Ahmad Hassan Sinclair, 25, was taught to always fight and work hard for what he wanted. In the life he was given nothing was ever handed to him. He grew up in the hoods of Houston, witnessing things no child should ever see in their life. His mom and pop worked hard just tryna make ends meet, to keep food on the table and clothes on their kids back. But it was far from easy .. Seeing his parents struggle the way they did for years, motivated him to work ten times harder. He made it a mission to not end up like his folks, he wanted more in life. He knew there was more to life than what he grew up seeing. But he also knew in order to be somebody in this world as a black man he had to fight and strive for it and also dodge the bullshit that came along with it. He set goals, he had dreams, he had a vision and nothing could stop him from achieving them. Now that he's at the top of his game, making money, living the live he always wanted, seeing the things he never seen and moving up the success path .. he figured life would eventually turn out to be great but sadly he still isn't happy or content with how things are.. there's this one missing piece in his life that will fully complete him. But let's see how determined Ahmad will be to find what that missing piece is or what he will do to get it.

"baby i'm talking crazy i, need you right in my space." my works #3. #4 in urban story, 03/13/'20.