"Welcome to The Missionary Position, and I'm not talking about the band." ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Meet Sophie Evans and Jackson Laine - two very different people caught up in the classic "boy meets girl" scenario... sort of. When one of Jackson's bandmates goes completely AWOL, Sophie finds herself hastily recruited as a stand-in percussionist for his infamous garage band, The Missionary Position. Even though she has only minimal drumming skills (as in, none at all), she accepts the position, and the adventures with Jackson that it entails. But can this awkwardly formed friendship endure all the obstacles in its way? Scheming friends, angry Germans, shady gigs, a cursed talent show and - worst of all - the apparent sexual tension that rapidly forms between them? Find out in this nostalgic comedy that will take you right back to your emo phase. Tingling with sarcasm and dirty wit, yet also steeped with heart, friendship, and change, the story of Sophie and Jackson reminds makes us consider not only how we love, but why. **A WATTPAD PICKS STORY (UNDISCOVERED, FOR NOW) 1/19/18** **HIGHEST RANK #385 IN HUMOR**

If you're judging this book by its cover and title, you're already proving the point this story wants to make. Try to move past this satirical obstacle in front of you. This is a story about bullying, and like the hundreds of other books on the topic, it will show you the harsh reality of being discriminated, belittled, ridiculed for something you cannot control- how you look, who you love, or what you believe in. But unlike these books, this story's sole purpose is not to tear your heart out of your chest as you mourn over your loss of faith in humanity. Instead, this book will make you laugh and love alongside these characters. Just like in life, there will be moments of dread and surrender, but there will also be moments of happiness, laughter, and love. - Naomi Lorraine, better known as Nerdy Naomi with her thick-rimmed glasses and straight-A report card, is the most unpopular girl in her school. Even with the help of her sarcastic comebacks, that doesn't stop her from getting bullied by everyone in Dartwell High. Every day her childhood bully, Raymond Meyers, knocks her off her feet, literally. However, she can't do anything but survive the laughs, insults, and bruises high school gives her. There are three senior transfer students, dubbed the Three Musketeers: Bennett Frazier, Jordan Wallace, and Declan Lynch. All in one day, Naomi catches their attention one by one. With her snarky attitude, but innocent look, they can't help but want her. But not the way you're thinking. Oh no, not like that. Instead, it's probably the whole opposite. It's quite simple really. She'll be their good girl. And they'll be her bad boys. ~ [This story is a first draft written by a 13 to 15-year-old girl so it has its fair share of grammar mistakes and plot holes.] Wattys 2015 Talk of the Town Award Second Place Story of 2015 Best Humor and Overall Points of The Fiction Awards 2016 Third in the Writers Awards 2016 Highest Ranks: #1 Humor, #1 Teen Fiction

*Wattys 2018 Winner / Hidden Gems* CREATE YOUR OWN MR. RIGHT Weeks before Valentine's, seventeen-year-old Kate Lapuz goes through her first ever breakup, but soon she stumbles upon a mysterious new app called My Dream Boyfriend, an AI chatbot that has the ability to understand human feelings. Casually, she participates in the app's trial run but finds herself immersed in the empathic conversations with her customizable virtual boyfriend, Ecto. In a society both connected and alienated by technology, Kate suspects an actual secret admirer is behind Ecto. Could it be the work of the techie student council president Dion or has Kate really found her soulmate in bits of computer code? She decides to get to the bottom of the cutting-edge app. Her search for Ecto's real identity leads Kate to prom, where absolute knowledge comes with a very steep price.

Vena Anderson, a nineteen year old girl has moved away from home to attend college. She has no desire to live in a small dorm room and having to live with a complete stranger, so living in an apartment for her college years is her next option. The only flaw in her plan is that she can't afford it without a roommate. Vena has lived in this apartment all through the past year and just as the new school year is right around the corner, the landlord decided that she would raise the rent. James Hendersom, a nineteen year old guy has been recently kicked out of his dorm for smoking cigarettes. He now has been living with his parents until he can find a place of his own. He has been searching and searching for the past week and could not find anything, until just a few days ago. James was looking through the ads, again and one popped out more then all the others sitting on that plain "Looking for roommate. Contact Vena Anderson for further information" *This Wattpad story is rated Mature for strong language and some sexuality* Book One of the 'I Am Living With An Idiot' series. This book is currently being edited and revised because in some aspects it is so horrible, so I am working on it!!

Stereotypes. I hate them. On my first day at my new school, a girl in a blue and white cheerleader's uniform told me I 'looked like a cheerleader' and asked me to come to tryouts. I almost decked her. Blonde hair and blue eyes do not a cheerleader make. Cheerleaders can be bitchy and mean but they can also act all happy and excited and they can drool and swoon over Finn Wallace – the hands-down hottest guy in school – like there's no tomorrow. Me? Well, I'm just bitchy and mean. So someone please tell me why Finn Wallace is suddenly chasing after me? *This is NOT a Bridgit Mendler fan fiction* Copyright © 2013 CrayonChomper

(First book of the series - cos people keep on missing my sequel announcement 😭) Cassandra Johnson is Pixie. Pixie is Cassandra Johnson. She's the same girl who's leading two extremely different lives. Nobody would suspect the school's nerd as Pixie. 'Cause Pixie's a street fighter badass and the nerd does not have a single badass bone in her body. The chances of people discovering this peculiar secret is close to none but of course this is where fate inserts the certified new boy into the equation and makes an exception for him. Warning: heavy flow of profanities ahead. - and tears - or so I've heard.

(COMPLETED) Charlotte Summers is the last virgin in her school; a school where taking virginity is a sport. The sport has five main contenders: Tyler Bradshaw, the mysterious bad boy; Alec Jennings, the all-star athlete; Ian Jameson, the cocky rich guy; Beckett Cartwright, the renowned genius; and Lucas Chandler, her best friend. With all these guys determined to win the title of the Virginator, will Charlotte make it out alive with her virginity? tumblr link for pictures: http://thelastvirginstanding.tumblr.com/ Cover by @WeAreAHurricane [#4 Teen Fiction / #4 Humor]

❝What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?❞ Just a couple more conversations for shits and giggles between four idiotic beings on how to be sarcastic and other necessities. [Book 3 in the "How To" series] WARNING: CONTAINS A LOT OF SWEARS AND TALKS ABOUT MATURE CONTENT.

{#1 in teenagers} {#2 in fiction} {#2 in popular} "You better not tell anyone about this." "Aw why not? I'm sure your fandom of desperate girls would love to know that their precious prince charming needs a babysitter." I smile innocently back at his death glare. "I'm serious, nerd. I could make your life hell." ------------------------------------------------------------ Marnie Jones is an ordinary 11th grader. Her only intentions are to get good grades and save money for college with her babysitting job. Everything is going to plan. Until she gets a job babysitting the high school bad boy, Zeke Blakely. The two come from complete different social groups, and Marnie automatically hates Zeke and his big ego and cocky attitude. He's a player. He's dangerous. He's reckless. She's safe with an overthinking problem. As the two are seen hanging around school together, attention gets drawn to Marnie. Which she hates. But she also catches the eye of a handsome jock, too. And why, you ask, does a 17 year old boy need a babysitter? You'll have to read to find out. WARNING: contains vulgar language and mature scenes.

Jack, Rose, Collin and I are back at it again with the jokes, puns, comebacks, weird stories and truckload of sarcasm. [Book Four in the "How To" series] WARNING: CONTAINS A LOT OF SWEARS AND TALKS ABOUT MATURE CONTENT.