"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

Having a bad day? Need a good laugh? This book is just for you! (A compilation of jokes I have found online & offline. Credits goes to the many humorous authors.)

Kadence Lee West was born and raised in jail. Like actual jail. Her parents met in jail, and had her in jail. Jail is her home, and she is perfectly fine being there. She loves it. Her family has a weird obsession with getting in trouble. They don't care about the consequences, they enjoy the consequences just as much. They find making trouble exhilarating, whether it's robbery, shooting people, vandalism, breaking and entering, even killing. You name it, they've done it. Most stories are about the good person. Not this one. Kadence was bad to the bone, and she loved it. When Kadence got set free, without her parents for the first time, she had learn how to handle the real world. She had to go to a real school for the first time. Nothing could prepare that school for Kadence West. This is their life in and out of jail. (Cover picture was made by DiamondRose24. Thank you!)

!!NOT SUITABLE FOR PEOPLE UNDER 18 YEARS OLD!! (Originally from my Quotev account, updates for this book are faster there) You teleported into this world filled with odd, humanoid creatures. Luckily (or unluckily) for you, they're HUGE fans of humans. (Obsessive creatures x reader, a reverse harem) 19/04/2020 1# in 4thwallbreak This story is an original story with original characters made by Microwaveness (2020, Quotev), cover taken from Unsplash.com