"You can call me daddy." "You cannot be fucking serious." __________ "This is a weird part of the internet, I don't like this place." - Michael Clifford, 2020.

A bunch of hilarious,pee your pants funny jokes in one place. Have a nice reading and Remember you can't spell swag without sw and ag!

Wuthering Heights is a wild, passionate story of the intense and almost demonic love between Catherine Earnshaw and Heathcliff, a foundling adopted by Catherine's father. After Mr Earnshaw's death, Heathcliff is bullied and humiliated by Catherine's brother Hindley and wrongly believing that his love for Catherine is not reciprocated, leaves Wuthering Heights, only to return years later as a wealthy and polished man. He proceeds to exact a terrible revenge for his former miseries. The action of the story is chaotic and unremittingly violent, but the accomplished handling of a complex structure, the evocative descriptions of the lonely moorland setting and the poetic grandeur of vision combine to make this unique novel a masterpiece of English literature.

Now a series by Mediacorp. Watch the episodes anywhere in world on meWATCH's Youtube channel. Keeley accidentally swaps cell phones with a rivaling high school's star quarterback. Unable to switch back until a week later, she must interact with the arrogant boy, passing along texts and voicemails. As she gets to know him better, she realizes there's more to him than sexual innuendos and egotistical comments. But when identities are revealed and secrets are exposed, will Keeley's feelings remain? Available in bookstores now! Look for it under its new title, TEXTROVERT.

The story follows the main character Elizabeth Bennet as she deals with issues of manners, upbringing, morality, education, and marriage in the society of the landed gentry of early 19th-century England. Elizabeth is the second of five daughters of a country gentleman living near the fictional town of Meryton in Hertfordshire, near London.

(COMPLETED) Charlotte Summers is the last virgin in her school; a school where taking virginity is a sport. The sport has five main contenders: Tyler Bradshaw, the mysterious bad boy; Alec Jennings, the all-star athlete; Ian Jameson, the cocky rich guy; Beckett Cartwright, the renowned genius; and Lucas Chandler, her best friend. With all these guys determined to win the title of the Virginator, will Charlotte make it out alive with her virginity? tumblr link for pictures: http://thelastvirginstanding.tumblr.com/ Cover by @WeAreAHurricane [#4 Teen Fiction / #4 Humor]

These are not made by me. All rights go to the people who made them. I just stumbled upon these on the internet. **WARNING: some texts may include rude language or sexual content that some may find offensive. if you find these offensive dont read it.**

[NOTE: This book was written in 2010, a time of long-distance phone cards, weight-loss obsessions, and searching for a man as a solution to life's problems-what a messy time to be alive! In other words, I hope you enjoy this throwback, and while this book does end on a cliffhanger of sorts, the sequel addresses any unanswered questions (which is hopefully fair, given that book 1 is free, ya know?] An awkward family homecoming at Christmas. A humiliating public weigh-in, with two judging parents as the audience. The announcement of a deadline for arranged marriage doom. And that's just the first two chapters. In "Year of the Chick," Romi Narindra must find love before her parents find her a husband. Easy to say, less easy to live through, as this book takes you deep inside "awkward Indian living in the West." To escape her fate, Romi wades through the waters of secret-dating, where self-consciousness is at an all-time high, and experience at an all-time low. It's the sort of thing that would turn almost anyone into a man-crazy freak with romance tunnel-vision, and that's exactly what ends up happening. All the while, a lack of inspiration in her corporate job leads Romi to her love of writing, in what quickly becomes a man-quest play-by-play. From whiskey-breath scum bags to uni-brow creeps and everything in between, Romi and her wingmen come up empty time after time. And that's when she meets a fellow writer. On the Internet. So will it be arranged marriage doom, or an Internet affair that's not as creepy as "To Catch a Predator"? Time will tell in the "year of the chick," a twelve-month quest to find love. Tick-tock. --------------------------------------------- "Year of the Chick" is book one of a series, and book two is available at Amazon! LENGTH: 75,000 words or 285 pages DISCLAIMER: this book contains profanities, blunt accounts of the dating scene, and many awkward family moments. Enjoy!

[Before you begin reading just a quick warning; this story has painfully slow updates, it is also very cliche but it does improve as the story goes on] When Jade Everett was ten years old, her first kiss was stolen by Jared Felton. Six years later Jade has still not forgiven him, although she doesn't really have to worry about it seen as she knows she will never see him again. This all changes when none other than the Jared Felton enrolls in her school, looking more gorgeous than ever. Jared quickly becomes worshipped at Eastwood high, despite his bad attendance record, awful attitude, low care tolerance for school and the cocky smirk which never seems to leave his lips; he still finds a way to make everyone in a 10K radius fall in love with him. Well, everyone except Jade. And Jared is willing to do anything to change that. Can Jared win Jade over, or will he always just be the boy who stole her first kiss? ♥My Stolen First Kiss reached #1 on Teen Fiction 20/8/14 ♥My Stolen First Kiss reached #1 on Humor on 20/8/14 [Story will be properly edited when completed]

Serena Davidson leads two lives. At school, she's a morbidly obese, stupid, nerdy, bitchy, slutty, and a teacher's pet. But at home she's the scrawny vegetarian pushover. What would possess someone to wear a fat suit every day? And what happens when someone finds out?