aradia: it n0w bec0mes apparent t0 me that i am stumbling acr0ss existence and have l0st c0ntr0l 0f it all. 0f c0urse i have many 0pti0ns 0f what i can d0 with my life, but i wanted th0se 0pti0ns t0 be g00d. is that selfish? maybe thats why im writing this all d0wn, a last ditch eff0rt t0 make sense 0f life, metaphysical existence, and all the bullshit in betweem