The Fall [1D fanfic]

"Daddy, why is there a newspaper article about you hooking up with another girl from 20 years ago?" "Mommy, how did Aunt Julia and Aunt Ana meet my uncles?" "Why do you guys come up when I give in *One Direction* and *Pandäa*??" "Mommy, why are there mugshots of you on the internet?" "Well, honey, this is the story of...